How I’m Healing from the Pain of Growing up in a Dysfunctional Family


“Don’t try to understand everything, because sometimes it’s not meant to be understood, but accepted.” ~Unknown

As a child, I never had the opportunity to develop a sense of self. I had a father who was a drug addict. A mother who was abused by my father. And later, we had my mom’s possessive and controlling boyfriend. It was tough finding a consistent role model in the mix.

I was one of four kids and we grew up in a trailer, sharing one bunk bed among us all. As children, we often would brutally fight with each other. We all wanted our own space and sense of self, but there wasn’t enough to go around.

With our mom working so much, her boyfriend would watch us. He seemed to enjoy punishing us. I remember feeling so afraid. I didn’t want to do anything wrong. I wanted to have his love because it felt like the only way to be safe. I never felt good enough, not to my mom, dad, or the boyfriend.

Starting in my teen years, codependency started really kicking in, and I wanted my mom for everything. I unknowingly was part of her triangulation between me and my sister. We both craved her love and wanted to have her favoritism.

As a wild child, my sister was stuck with my mom’s negative self-projections, I received the positive. As the years progressed, these roles flipped, and I suffered a sense of rejection and confusion as to what I had done wrong.

Life was hard and I couldn’t live with the fear and shame, so I learned to unplug from my feelings. At the same time, these unprocessed feelings would cause outbursts of anger. I started feeling entitled to anger. It felt like life had kicked me so hard as a child, why wasn’t it getting easier? Why was it getting worse?

My learned dysfunction kept me yearning for connection but fearing it and pushing people away at the same time. I wasn’t capable of trusting others in a healthy way. With each loss, I took on more shame and perceived failure.

As I struggled through life, I was oblivious to the amounts of shame my family dynamic had me carrying. My mother’s triangulation and manipulation created an environment where she was justified in lashing out with no accountability. Everyone else was to blame for her poor reactions to situations.

As my mom and sister became a team, I became the problem who needed to learn how to accept and love them unconditionally. There was nothing wrong with them treating other people poorly. It was okay for them to deceitfully hide family secrets (e.g.: Mom drove home drunk from the bar and doesn’t remember getting home), because I wouldn’t agree, so they were justified.

I felt like I was on an island, broken and unable to figure out what was wrong and how to fix myself because the “rules” of justification changed so swiftly, and always in their favor.

Having no sense of self and being completely enmeshed with my mom and sister, I felt beyond broken each time I was accused of not being able to love unconditionally. I was worthless and a disgusting human being who was incapable of even a basic emotion that everyone else had.

It took a lot for me to see that love for my mom was making me feel close only when she was going through tough times, making me part of her someday club (our motto: “someday” will never happen for us).

My sister learned to use her money to express her love. She would take me to dinner and give me her quality hand-me-down clothes. While I was grateful, it also became justification for her to do crummy things toward me, usually when she had been drinking.

While sober, if she had a problem, she’d choose to “forgive.” The only problem is that she hadn’t really forgiven me because one night while everyone was having fun, I might get tired or I didn’t think a joke was funny or I looked at her the wrong way, and it would all come flooding out—every stored feeling she had been holding back for days or weeks.

If either my mom or sister hurt me, the expectation was that I should just get over it. There was no need for them to take accountability because “we are human” and “I am happy with who I am.”

I wanted to be loved and accepted but couldn’t ever really find my place within my family because the dynamics were so volatile. I was suffocating in the conflicting feelings. I felt angry but ashamed. I was unhappy and felt worthless.

When I hit bottom and I couldn’t see one thing in my life that gave me worth, I knew that I needed to make changes. I reached out and got help from a therapist and joined a local support group.

As I am separating from the dysfunctional patterns, the things that have helped me are:

1. Ask for help.

Dysfunctional family dynamics often create shame around the idea of talking to others. It’s seen as exposing family secrets and going against the unit. Nobody should suffer due to things out of their control. Reaching out helps you find the compassionate outlet you deserve and need.

I have been in therapy for about two years now. It has been the only time of my life where I have been able to experience consistent, reliable, and healthy direction. It has supported me in learning how to have self-compassion and make healthy, but tough choices.

I didn’t want to accept the reality that my mom and sister will likely never truly see me for me. My role as a scapegoat is brutally necessary for the emotional “economics” that occur within my family.

Therapy helped support me in my choice to find myself outside of my family of origin. There was much pain in going from seeing my family every weekend to now living a life outside of them. It required radical acceptance and the knowledge that I am unable to change anyone but myself.

I was lucky to have a kind, compassionate, reliable therapist to guide me as I dealt with each of the emotions that came up during this time.

2. Accept others as they are.

As a scapegoat in a dysfunctional family unit, I have learned to accept my situation for what it is. I have to set my expectations for what others are capable of giving.

We have no control over others or their view of the world. All we can do is accept a situation for what it is and assess if it is healthy for us. Once I accepted that my mom and sister do not really see the family dynamic as dysfunctional, I was able to free myself of the anger and need for control. They are blind to the ways they protect themselves emotionally and unwilling to have an open mind about it.

There is sadness, but I see that the relationship dynamic causes so much pain for me, and I cannot fix this on my own. While I am compassionate toward the pain they must be carrying, I see that I cannot continue a relationship that is built on dysfunctional habits.

3. Know your worth.

As an enmeshed individual, my worth was defined by external sources. I wanted my mom, sister, brothers, friends, coworkers, and acquaintances to validate me as a good, worthy person. I desperately needed to feel like others liked me enough to feel I had worth.

I now know that we all have worth, and it’s our individual responsibility to maintain this worth from within.

I have a tough inner critic, so having a consistent mindfulness practice has helped me establish my worth. It is hard to find worth when you are caught up in your own head, believing the negative thoughts going through it. Mindfulness helps me turn away from these thoughts and label them as just that, thoughts.

The more we tune out our negative self-talk, the more we can acknowledge our mistakes and learn from them without sinking into a low and getting down on ourselves. With this brings the awareness that our mistakes do not diminish our worth. Our worth is inherent. A mistake is just a mistake.

4. Learn what healthy love looks like.

Our family of origin doesn’t always teach us what healthy love looks and feels like.

In dysfunctional families, each person loves based on their limited capacity to process their own emotions. When someone has to keep reminding you that you are unconditionally loved, ask yourself, how do I feel right now? For me, I felt hated and restricted to being what was easy for my mom and sister.

Love should connect you with your inner joy. We all feel down at times and cannot rely on others to make us feel good about ourselves at all times. But I do feel that when someone loves you unconditionally, you shouldn’t feel lost. The joy of this love should be consistently present and help carry you through the tough times (e.g.: disagreements, hurt feelings, etc.).

When it comes to my mom and sister unconditionally loving me, I have had to accept that they love me the best and only way they know how while hiding from their shame. If they lash out, they are not able to carry the shame and embarrassment of their own actions. They cannot validate my feelings or experience in any way. They need me to carry this responsibility for them. This is not unconditional love.

As you move through the necessary steps to separate from learned family dysfunction, please remember that you didn’t learn these things by yourself and you will not unlearn them by yourself, nor should you.

Oftentimes things like depression or anxiety are a hurdle. Building a community is scary but necessary. This can be reaching out to a therapist or searching for support groups in your local community.

For years I struggled thinking that I could fix what was wrong with me on my own. It wasn’t until I reached out and got help that my mind was able to open up, process traumas, and make lasting changes.





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100 Honesty Quotes to Help You Improve Your Self-Esteem and Happiness


Honesty.

Such an important but sometimes tough thing to stay true to.

It’s often easier to just tell a white or perhaps even darker lie. To skirt around how you really think and feel.

But even though it might be tough there is also so much to be gained from being more honest both with yourself and the people in your life:

  • The more honest you can be with yourself the easier it will be to be who you deep down want to be but also to improve aspects of your life that are truly in need of that.
  • The more honest you are with both yourself and others the more your self-respect, your relationships and your confidence in yourself will improve.

So in this post I’d like to share the most thought-provoking and uplifting quotes and thoughts on honesty from the past 2000+ years.

And if you want more inspiration then have a look at this post with quotes on regret and this one filled with quotes on compassion.

Inspiring Honesty Quotes to Help You Live Your Best Life

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
Oscar Wilde

“The real things haven’t changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong.”
Laura Ingalls Wilder

“Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people.”
Spencer Johnson

“It’s discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.”
Noël Coward

“Honesty is always the best policy, even when it’s not the trend.”
Sean Covey

“To conceal anything from those to whom I am attached, is not in my nature. I can never close my lips where I have opened my heart.”
Charles Dickens

“You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.”
Abraham Lincoln

“Don’t ever regret being honest. Period.”
Taylor Swift

“All cruel people describe themselves as paragons of frankness.”
Tennessee Williams

“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.”
Paulo Coelho

“The line between honesty and dishonesty is a narrow, shifting one and usually lets those get by that are the most subtle and already have more than they can use.”
Clarence Darrow

“Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom.”
Thomas Jefferson

“You ask me what forces me to speak? A strange thing; my conscience.”
Victor Hugo

“Unless you’re ashamed of yourself now and then, you’re not honest”
William Faulkner

“When you give yourself permission to communicate what matters to you in every situation you will have peace despite rejection or disapproval. Putting a voice to your soul helps you to let go of the negative energy of fear and regret.”
Shannon L. Alder

“Being honest may not get you a lot of friends but it’ll always get you the right ones.”
John Lennon

“It takes strength and courage to admit the truth.”
Rick Riordan

“You are honest enough by nature to be able to see and judge your own self clearly – and that is a great thing. Never lose that honesty – always be honest with yourself.”
Enid Blyton

“When we speak we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed. But when we are silent, we are still afraid. So it is better to speak.”
Audre Lorde

“Nothing is so difficult as not deceiving oneself.”
Ludwig Wittgenstein

“Just be honest with yourself. That opens the door.”
Vernon Howard

“I admire honesty more than any other trait.”
Jerry Reinsdorf

“I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to
succeed, but I am bound to live up to what light I have.”
Abraham Lincoln

“Proclaim the truth and do not be silent through fear.”
St. Catherine of Siena

“When you’re dishonest with yourself, you’re disconnected from reality. You’re going to make poor decisions. You’re going to drop out of the moment and you’re going to be less happy and you’re going to be wrong.”
Naval Ravikant

“To be persuasive we must be believable; to be believable we must be credible; to be credible we must be truthful.”
Edward R. Murrow

“What have I always believed? That on the whole, and by and large, if a man lived properly, not according to what any priests said, but according to what seemed decent and honest inside, then it would, at the end, more or less, turn out all right.”
Terry Pratchett

“Most often people seek in life occasions for persisting in their opinions rather than for educating themselves.”
André Gide

“I hope I shall possess firmness and virtue enough to maintain what I consider the most enviable of all titles, the character of an honest man.”
George Washington

“Each time you are honest and conduct yourself with honesty, a success force will drive you toward greater success. Each time you lie, even with a little white lie, there are strong forces pushing you toward failure.”
Joseph Sugarman

“If you can’t be honest with yourself, you can’t fix yourself. Admitting you have a problem is the first step for a good reason.”
Ed Latimore

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.”
Marcus Aurelius

“The real source of inner joy is to remain truthful and honest.”
Dalai Lama

“If an offense comes out of the truth, better is it that the offense come than that the truth be concealed.”
Thomas Hardy

“Let’s tell the truth to people. When people ask, ‘How are you?’ have the nerve sometimes to answer truthfully. You must know, however, that people will start avoiding you because, they, too, have knees that pain them and heads that hurt and they don’t want to know about yours. But think of it this way: If people avoid you, you will have more time to meditate and do fine research on a cure for whatever truly afflicts you.”
Maya Angelou

“You should not honor men more than truth.”
Plato

“If you’re not honest with yourself, life will never be honest with you.”
Leigh Brackett

“Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.”
Barbara De Angelis

You may also find this post with quotes on perspective helpful.

Brutal Honesty Quotes

“Most men would rather deny a hard truth than face it.”
George R.R. Martin

“Honesty is more than not lying. It is truth telling, truth speaking, truth living, and truth loving.”
James E. Faust

“Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?”
Marcus Aurelius

“Better a cruel truth than a comfortable delusion.”
Edward Abbey

“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”
Winston Churchill

“To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.”
Mahatma Gandhi

“The trouble with most of us is that we’d rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.”
Norman Vincent Peale

“If we are not ashamed to think it, we should not be ashamed to say it.”
Marcus Tullius Cicero

“It is not easy to keep silent when silence is a lie.”
Victor Hugo

“Honesty is often very hard. The truth is often painful. But the freedom it can bring is worth the trying.”
Fred Rogers

“To know what is right and not do it is the worst cowardice.”
Confucius

“As long as you’re honest and you articulate what you believe to be true, somebody somewhere will become your enemy whether you like it or not.”
Criss Jami

“If you keep hiding your true self, your life becomes like slow death. Once you become free from the lies and the hiding of yourself, then life becomes vibrant again.”
Ziggy Marley

“The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.”
Flannery O’Connor

“The main trouble with being an honest man was that it lost you all your illusions.”
James Jones

“It is always helpful to remain honest and truthful in the face of difficulty. “
Dalai Lama

“Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.”
Winston S. Churchill

“If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.”
Marcus Aurelius

Quotes About Honesty in Relationships and Love

“Hiding how you really feel and trying to make everyone happy doesn’t make you nice, it just makes you a liar.”
Jenny O’Connell

“Before speaking, consult your inner-truth barometer, and resist the temptation to tell people only what they want to hear.”
Wayne W. Dyer

“Nothing in this world is harder than speaking the truth, nothing easier than flattery.”
Fyodor Dostoevsky

“It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.”
George Washington

“Just try, try to be right here, open, honest, straight.”
Ram Dass

“Telling the truth and making someone cry is better than telling a lie and making someone smile.”
Paulo Coelho

“It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.”
Mark Twain

“When a man is penalized for honesty he learns to lie.”
Criss Jami

“Honesty and openness is always the foundation of insightful dialogue.”
Bell Hooks

“Oh, what a tangled web we weave…when first we practice to deceive.”
Walter Scott

“No matter what you do, stand up for who you are and be honest.”
Bryant McGill

“Spontaneity is total sincerity.”
Alan Watts

“Staying silent is like a slow-growing cancer to the soul and a trait of a true coward. There is nothing intelligent about not standing up for yourself.”
Shannon L. Alder

“You can’t lie to your soul.”
Irvine Welsh

“The liar’s punishment is, not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.”
George Bernard Shaw

“Authenticity without empathy is selfish. Authenticity without boundaries is careless.”
Adam Grant

“No persons are more frequently wrong, than those who will not admit they are wrong.”
François de La Rochefoucauld

“Rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud.”
Sophocles

“Don’t assume, ask. Be kind. Tell the truth. Don’t say anything you can’t stand behind fully. Have integrity. Tell people how you feel.”
Warsan Shire

Be sure to also check out this post filled with relationship quotes.

Quotes on Trust, Loyalty and Honesty

“And that’s the thing about people who mean everything they say. They think everyone else does too.”
Khaled Hosseini

“Boastfulness and excessive pride do not equate at all with humility and honesty, credibility and integrity.”
Angelica Hopes

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”
Mark Twain

“When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That’s my religion.”
Abraham Lincoln

“Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.”
Albert Einstein

“Honesty is the fastest way to prevent a mistake from turning into a failure.”
James Altucher

“We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best we can find in our travels is an honest friend.”
Robert Louis Stevenson

“Honesty is a very expensive gift, don’t expect it from cheap people.”
Warren Buffett

“Aim not at being clever but at being true.”
Marty Rubin

“Honesty is telling the truth to ourselves and others. Integrity is living that truth.”
Kenneth H. Blanchard

“I hold the maxim no less applicable to public than to private affairs, that honesty is always the best policy.”
George Washington

“Better to get hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie.”
Khaled Hosseini

“Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.”
W. Clement Stone 

“I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.”
Frederick Douglass

“If you once forfeit the confidence of your fellow citizens, you can never regain their respect and esteem.”
Abraham Lincoln

“A lie has speed, but truth has endurance.”
Edgar J. Mohn

“The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, faith, love, and loyalty.”
Zig Ziglar

“There’s one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he’s crooked.”
Mark Twain

“Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.”
Kent M. Keith

“Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress.”
Mahatma Gandhi

“Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.”
Henry David Thoreau

“You don’t always have to chop with the sword of truth. You can point with it too.”
Anne Lamott

“Honesty first; then courage; then brains – and all are indispensable.”
Theodore Roosevelt

“Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters”’
Albert Einstein

“As I have said, the first thing is to be honest with yourself. You can never have an impact on society if you have not changed yourself. Great peacemakers are all people of integrity, of honesty, but humility.”
Nelson Mandela

“Never be afraid to raise your voice for honesty and truth and compassion against injustice and lying and greed. If people all over the world would do this, it would change the earth.”
William Faulkner

Want even more? Have a look at this post with timeless thoughts on humility.



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How I Saved Myself by Surrendering When Everything Fell Apart


“And here you are, living despite it all.” ~Rupi Kaur

“I surrender!” I said this mantra out loud as my life was spiraling out of control.

I had spent a summer in college as a camp counselor separated from my fiancé. He sent me no letters and did not keep in touch. Still, I held on. By the time I came back home, we were broken. I had also realized he was emotionally abusing me. It took that separation to make me see it.

I realized I had been truly alone in the relationship. I was never lonelier than being with someone who refused to listen to me. A summer of independence brought me a new love of solitude, but it also made me realize I didn’t have a soulmate in him after all.

I was forced to face that this life wasn’t perfect. I wasn’t perfect. But… I was enough. I needed to believe that to keep moving.

When I said my mantra of surrendering, I was on a rollercoaster of emotions. I didn’t know where my life was going. The wedding planning ended. He called it off through text. I was left emotional and without closure. I didn’t know what would happen next. I just decided to be curious rather than try to control it.

I woke up to the fact that I didn’t have to know everything. I had to just trust. This both terrified me and propelled me forward. I didn’t know if things were going to be okay, but I knew I would make meaning out of whatever would happen.

I wanted to teach youth how to surrender too. I figured that would be my legacy since it had healed me of so much in life.

I had already applied to graduate school, and I would start at Brandeis very soon. I was worried about being on top of it all while going through this heartbreak. I was a Type A student, president of four clubs and an honors student. I didn’t exactly have time for love back then, but I didn’t realize I had a choice to let my ex go if I wasn’t satisfied. I put too much effort into trying to make it work when it wouldn’t.

I didn’t see that my effort to make everything work was actually blocking better things from coming my way. In other words, I had to stop holding on so tightly to life. I had to let go. I had to surrender to survive. I had to go with the flow to find my flow. I had to learn how to be happy for no reason other than to simply be.

When I did that, my whole life opened up for me. I practiced radical acceptance and realized my place in this world mattered. I stopped white-knuckling through my problems and pain. I stopped waiting for love and decided to love myself. I started to see myself as capable and good no matter how others mistreated me. I decided by letting go, I would not give up. I made a promise to myself to always be authentic.

Life didn’t go as planned. I left Brandeis MAT program for teaching because I realized I didn’t want to be a high school English teacher anymore. It was the hardest decision of my life because I also did not have a backup plan.

So, I surrendered again. And again and again through it all.

I surrendered when I found other ways to help youth. I surrendered through a bipolar breakdown and a relapse to the hospital years later. I surrendered when I went on disability and all expectations of my life were changed. I surrendered through bad side effects to meds and awful doctors. I surrendered all through my life because I knew despite how hard things could be, I was still doing good. I was still helping others. I was still waking up each morning appreciating being alive.

It came down to the simple things. I didn’t need certain labels or popularity. I needed to rest, to do nothing sometimes. To breathe. To just live.

I saw myself as rising in my own ways.

I realized I couldn’t look back. Here’s what I held onto instead:

1. Finding Purpose

When I let go of my need to control, I became more mindful. I started to think about how I wanted to spend my time. Was it for achievements or authenticity?

I had nothing, so I had nothing to lose when I left Brandeis. Serendipitously, I had a branding internship the same time a brand manager of a large TV personality discovered me. The internship taught me how to manage my own image and ideas while the manager wanted to simply own me like a puppet master.

I had a choice. I could live on my own terms or have someone take over my life. I turned down advances from this man. I wasn’t going to fall for the same red flags as I did with my ex-fiancé. I let go; I surrendered.

I decided to make my own way and live authentically as a person, not a brand, sharing my story along the way. I used my mental health journey to help end stigma and my writing for sharing insights on life.

I did not let walking away from the brand manager stop my story. Instead, I redefined it for myself. I was enough as I was. I didn’t need anyone to discover who I was meant to be. I would live my life for me.

My purpose became in proving him wrong, that I could make it on my own. Then, it became for me, to show myself I was worth it. I focused on living in the moment and just following my passions without a plan. That’s what saved me. But it wasn’t the only thing.

Purpose dawned on me one day while I was simply walking my dog through the woods in my backyard. I listened to birds chirping. I grounded myself by looking up at the blue sky. I touched the bark on the trees. I felt my inner voice beckoning me to love this life as it was, not as I wanted it to be. I didn’t have to do anything. I just had to be in this moment. That’s all life was asking of me.

It took simplicity to make me realize my purpose wasn’t just a to-do list. It wasn’t fixing everything. It wasn’t mastering every skill. It wasn’t making things work when they wouldn’t.

I had to separate myself from the “shoulds.” I had to find the gift in what I was going through. In taking the time to do nothing but think, far away from a stressful schedule, I realized that my purpose was to be happy without needing a reason to be. That took a different kind of bravery.

2. Forgiveness

I wasn’t able to move on from the injustices of my life very easily. I had anger in me from living under others’ control and abuse. I had loss, which I felt every day, etched into my skin. I knew what it was to be alone. I had settled too often and always saw the best in people.

I grew up walking on eggshells surrounded by abusers. It was an endless pattern I stopped in my twenties. After my ex-fiancé left me, I found a new type of strength. I realized the only power anyone could ever have over me was the one I consented. No one could steal the core of who I was. No one could take certain things away. No one could define me but me.

I took my power back through forgiveness. It didn’t happen right away. I meant “I love you” to my ex, but then I realized it was governed in fear. Fear of doing this life on my own.

Sometimes life makes you continually face the very thing you’ve been avoiding. You keep getting redirected to it even as you resist. You find yourself with the same lessons you needed to learn before.

There’s a quote that reads “You repeat what you don’t repair.” Well, I was there. I was back there constantly in my anger and hate of those who I thought stole something from me.

But when I decided to forgive them, I released it. I gave it back to the universe and pulled my heart from the chaos. They didn’t deserve it. It wasn’t for them. It was for me. I had to let them go and surrender so I could heal myself. I forgave myself in the process, too, for not knowing enough, for not seeing the truth.

My heart wanted to hold onto the anger so that I could do something with it. I soothed it, though, with self-compassion. I made meaning of the events of my life by helping others through similar things.

That meant I had to say goodbye. Goodbye to those who didn’t know me enough to love me right. Goodbye to the me that was in survival mode and didn’t know I could just let go and live. Goodbye to the dark nights of the soul where I felt like giving up and suicidal ideations crossed my mind. Goodbye to the past. Goodbye to the insecurities. Goodbye to the pain. Goodbye to the worst of it all.

And then I said it. “I forgive you.” I salvaged myself from the wreckage of the storms I had suffered. I pulled myself out of the ruins of an old life. I realized I was the one who decided my fate. I was the captain of my soul. I was finally free.

3. The Reason

I found my way by allowing myself to go on the detour. I realized that I was meant to go down the wrong road so I would be sure of the right one. My road was brilliant, one of authenticity, that uplifted me above all that I had gone through. I was able to look at my life and see what really mattered. I suddenly knew what I was here to do.

I was here to share my gift. Any insight I could. To love.

I started volunteering, writing, speaking to youth, and advocating for mental health awareness.

I stopped living in the stigma of struggling and became open about my story.

I surrendered to what was happening.

I stopped fighting every little thing that came my way.

I didn’t need to know what would happen with the lives I touched and the good things I did along the way. I just had to follow my path hoping others would follow it too, making it a little easier for someone else.

All I had to do was surrender—be still, quiet my mind, allow rather than resist, let go, and find myself even when losing it all.

Surrendering isn’t easy. In fact, it’s one of the hardest things we can do. That’s because we want control. But sometimes, surrendering is seeing uncertainty as beautiful. We don’t have to know what lies ahead in order to move forward.

What will you do when you surrender, stop fighting reality, and allow yourself to live in your life as it is?

Can you improve a situation, share a kindness, give to a greater cause, become a better you, and build a better world? Can you dream of doing such things? That is the first step to resilience. Focus on the beauty found in the broken situation and in you. Focus on the light you can bring into the darkness.

It doesn’t take away from the horror of any hardship to believe in yourself and your ability to make change from it. That takes its own grieving time. But during that time, you can’t let it consume you. The tragedy that befell you, the heartbreak that happened, the hurt inside that you can’t let go… they are indeed senseless. Hence, it is imperative you don’t get stuck on asking why, as many do.

Instead of viewing yourself as a victim, it’s time to be a victor. Overcome the odds. Let what hurts and irks you be the fuel to your fire.

Hardships do not define us.

What you have been through, your circumstances, do not define you.

There will be days where you need to prioritize self-care and forgiveness for who you had to be to get to this point. Maybe you were white-knuckling through the pain in your self-care journey, maybe you did what you did in order to survive, but the good news is that today is a new day for you.

Hold space for the sacred gift of simply being alive on those days.

It works like a cycle. You will feel all the emotions on the spectrum, which means you will feel anger and sadness and doubt, but you will also feel joy and love and hope again the longer you hold on, the more patience you practice with yourself.

A reason not for why this happened but why to go on will come to you.

That reason is everything.

When you want to give up, that’s when you say, “I surrender,” which isn’t the same thing. Giving up is shutting down. Surrendering is letting go.

When you surrender, you don’t need things to work out a certain way. You accept life as it comes, which leads to a breakthrough. When you give up, you breakdown. Surrendering is the sacred step to realizing your full potential. It’s realizing you are your own hero, and you must not stop now.

When you let go, you realize everything could change tomorrow. All it takes is choosing this very moment and living it. Mindfully surrendering is about releasing your fears and doubts so you can see clearly and letting the light come through.

Don’t wait for life to change to create peace, joy, and purpose. Choose to make the best of what you have in your life, right now as it is. Surrender. Say the words, and it will change your life.





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How To Deal With Loneliness & Turn It Into Moments of Self Reflection


Being alone is daunting for some people. Let’s face it: in today’s world, it is believed that we are hardly ever alone, especially with the use of technology and the connections we have with others through social media.

But however connected we feel we are, however many Likes on our posts we receive, or re-tweets or messages we get, the digital world can be very cold at times. We carry our smartphones, tablets, and even laptops everywhere. But is it actually connecting us to real relationships – or is it distracting us from the world around us?

Regardless of how we feel about the aforementioned, we all go through moments that we find ourselves alone with our thoughts, our feelings. At times, these moments can feel lonely.

But they don’t have to. When we know how to deal with loneliness, we can use those moments to explore our own minds and thoughts. And ultimately, build a better version of ourselves in the process.

During the day, activities – whether physical or mental – keep us rather occupied. Usually, this idea of being alone sets in at night, when the energy is less active, so to speak. You see, if you take a moment to feel what the world is like during the day and at night, you’ll find that they feel completely different from one another.

One thing to keep in mind is that during the day, the energy is much more active than at night. So the feeling at night is sometimes interpreted as a sense of loneliness. There is simply much more downtime at night than during the day. Remember: we live in a society that is based on the idea of work, movement, and production.

So it’s natural, even if people do work at night that the energy during this time is calmer and less heightened than during the day. Nighttime can be used to reflect on the day’s activities, and think about its aspects.

What did you do today? What is still left to do that you can start tomorrow? What did you experience during the day? What could have been done better or differently?

How To Deal with Loneliness

Here are a few ideas on how to deal with loneliness, especially during those times that the connection to others feels like it’s dwindling.

1. Write in a journal

Take the time to write about your day. You’ll find that even if you start with NOT having anything to write about, allow yourself to free write. All of a sudden, thoughts and ideas will find their way to your journal and help you clear things up.

Writing in a general may seem a little dated, but there’s nothing like expressing your thoughts on paper or a digital format to clear your mind. Plus, seeing your thoughts written out many times helps you understand certain things better.

I advise this to my patients and students because of the wonderful results it has.

2. Deal with what you have to deal with

how to deal with loneliness

Or better said, think about what you have to deal with. Throughout the day, we push less pleasant thoughts away.

Many times we bottle them up and keep them inside somewhere. These same thoughts have a tendency of coming up again at night. They come at night because it’s quiet and the mind feels that the quieter times of the day are the best times to think about the bottled thoughts.

Deal with them at your own pace. These are thoughts that need your attention, which is why they come up. The more you push them away, the harder they’ll push back. Write them down in your journal, meditate upon them, write a song, or paint a picture. This is also a good way on how to deal with loneliness.

Whatever path you choose, make sure to take the time to give your thoughts the attention that they need. Clear them out.

3. Technology isn’t always the answer

how to deal with loneliness

Many times, we feel that by simply being online, we’re connected to others. However, being online feels emptier than actually sitting alone in a room. Take time to think about what you’re doing when you’re online. Are you being constructive, or are you buying time for something else?

Consider what you’re thinking about and use the time to better build on something you may be working on. For the most part, it’s not so much about hanging out online and waiting for someone to Like your post. But you can actively search for information, blogs that write about a craft you may be thinking about taking on, or even tutorials in the form of videos that can help you in school, at work, or in your personal ventures.

Technology is a blessing and a curse. But the good thing is that we can use it as a tool to inspire us to reach that next level.

4. Hard to sleep?

how to deal with loneliness

Often, trying to go to sleep doesn’t work out so well. We find ourselves in a pit of loneliness. When we can’t sleep, we often over-think, and in the process, wear ourselves out.

Remember the mind races from thought to thought during the day. So it’s only natural for the mind to continue doing so even at night. We have to let the mind know that it’s okay to calm down and relax.

Try some meditation to get yourself ready for bed. Progressive relaxation always works, or maybe even some cool music or environmental sounds can ease the mind from over-thinking.

5. Being alone is OK

how to deal with loneliness

Above all else, the time you have with yourself is a great opportunity to get to know more about yourself. When you are away from others, another version of YOU springs to life.

Many times, it’s the more inquisitive version of you, a more understanding version of you, or even a more patient side of you. Learning how to deal with loneliness is an important time to freely think and do as you will.

Getting to know yourself better, and understanding what your mind, body, and emotions are communicating with you, is essential to one’s personal and social growth.

Remember that while we build the relationships around us with family and friends, the most important relationship is the relationship you have within yourself. The more time you take to get to know yourself, the stronger, clearer, and more aware you’ll become.

Life is a curious and beautiful thing. Sharing this experience with someone else makes it that much more special. Hope this helps you deal with loneliness and ‘till next time, trust yourself.

Sincerely,

Professor Robert J. Escandon MA. C.Ht.



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50 Ilhan Omar Quotes From Glass Ceiling-Shattering Politician (2021)


These Ilhan Omar quotes shed light on her policies and beliefs. They also show her courage and resilience, as there is much more to Ilhan Omar than you might have heard.

Ilhan Omar is a U.S. Representative for Minnesota’s 5th congressional district. She made history in 2019 after becoming the first Somali American elected to the U.S. Congress. She also is the first woman of color to serve as a U.S. Representative from Minnesota, and one of the first Muslim women elected to the Congress.

Omar makes up a progressive wing of the party, often referred to as the squad, that includes Rashida Tlaib, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and Ayanna Pressley. Some Republicans have used the term pejoratively, but members of ‘the squad’ use the term to express solidarity.

Omar grew up in Somalia and is the youngest of seven siblings. She and her family fled Somalia to escape the war, spending four years in a refugee camp. Omar’s family was granted asylum in the U.S. and they arrived in New York in 1995 when Omar was 12. Omar officially became an American citizen in 2000 when she was 17 years old.

Other kids bullied her in school because of her appearance and her wearing of the hijab. She has spoken about how incidents like having gum pressed into her hijab, being pushed downstairs, and physically being taunted while changing for gym class shaped who she grew up to be. She recalled her father explaining that “They are doing something to you because they feel threatened in some way by your existence.” Be empowered by these Ilhan Omar quotes!

Don’t forget to also check out these Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez quotes clarifying her positions.

Ilhan Omar quotes on what being an American and a Minnesotan means

1. “As an immigrant, I truly believed when I was coming to this country that people had the tools necessary to live a life that is prosperous, that is just, and free. So, every single day, I am shocked with the hypocrisy of this country. That we are the wealthiest nation in the world. But we cannot figure out how to house our homeless people.” — Ilhan Omar

2. “Hope will be found by understanding that diversity is the essence of the American Dream and why we need each other to fulfill it.” — Ilhan Omar

3. “We can walk and chew gum at the same time. Yes, the American people want us to legislate, they want us to insist on furthering their set of values, but they also want us to resist and exercise our oversight powers.” — Ilhan Omar

4. “I am proof that, as Americans, we can embrace our differences.” — Ilhan Omar

5. “I believe in the ideals of America, in liberty, justice, and the pursuit of happiness.” — Ilhan Omar

6. “Truly, this is a nation that sees itself as one that instills hope and is really about allowing people to pursue their dreams.” — Ilhan Omar

7. “This is a land of immigrants, and most come here for opportunity, a second chance.” — Ilhan Omar

8. “Minnesota’s diversity should be its greatest strength, but our neglect of nonwhite students has stifled our progress toward growth and equity.” — Ilhan Omar

9. “No Minnesotan should ever experience preventable health risks from breathing polluted air or from drinking unsafe water.” — Ilhan Omar

10. “I find hope in knowing that I belong to a state that has a lot of people who are champions of change and progress; that we will rise up and fight for justice and equality; that, ultimately, love will trump hate.” — Ilhan Omar

11. “Learning is not limited to the classroom, and Minnesota shouldn’t limit its education resources there, either.” — Ilhan Omar

Ilhan Omar quotes that illustrate why she is such a force

12. “I believe women and minorities often wait for permission to be invited to something; we need to stop doing that.” — Ilhan Omar

13. “I am much more interested in defending my ideas than defending my identities.” — Ilhan Omar

14. “I would have loved to have heard a story like mine. I could have used it as an inspiration to get by.” — Ilhan Omar

15. “If we are not actively fighting against regressive ideologies, we are contributing to making them grow.” — Ilhan Omar

16. “I think a big part of my faith teachings is to work together towards equality: that we’re all created equal, and under the eyes of God, we all have a right to freedom and to access our rights equally.” — Ilhan Omar

17. “We know that when people are civically engaged, when they understand what their rights are, when they understand that in a democracy you can challenge governments, you can challenge policymakers, and you can… actually shape and form future policy, I think it changes the perception that a lot of young people have about where power is.” — Ilhan Omar

18. “I come from people who dreamed of a free democratic system. I believe so strongly in the process and equal access.” — Ilhan Omar

19. “When I first arrived in the country, I really didn’t speak much of the language. I knew two words coming here, and they were ‘Hello’ and ‘Shut up.’” — Ilhan Omar

20. “I invited President Trump twice now to come meet my family and my community because he seems to have a lot of opinions about the kind of people we are.” — Ilhan Omar

21. “I was a teenager when 9/11 happened. And I really was uncomfortable with many members of our community feeling like they had to strip themselves of their identity in order to mitigate the violence and the fears that they were feeling.” — Ilhan Omar

22. “I had a lot of challenges starting school, and my dad says I would come home every day crying and feeling bad about the problems I was having with some of the kids. And he would tell me to work hard on learning the language.” — Ilhan Omar

23. “I grew up in a household where we all celebrated who we were. There was no space to make people feel different or ‘less than.’” — Ilhan Omar

Inspiring Ilhan Omar quotes about how she sees herself and her purpose

24. “We must see others’ struggles as our own, and their success as our success, so we can speak to our common humanity.” — Ilhan Omar

25. “We need to recognize that racism has never been subtle, though it has gone under-reported.” — Ilhan Omar

26. “We didn’t really grow up in a gendered environment. We didn’t have a hierarchy. My family is fearless. They truly believe that they have something to contribute to society and that it is an obligation as humans. I try to embed in my children that they have something to contribute. And that you give because you have to, not to be appreciated.” — Ilhan Omar

27. “I think my faith as a Muslim is very important. One of the core values is that you are always trying to build consensus. So when it comes to figuring out if something is permissible or not in Islam, it’s usually a discussion, and people have to come to a consensus in order for something to be approved.” — Ilhan Omar

28. “I talk a lot about the men in my family because my mother died when I was little, and my grandmother died when my aunts were little, so we didn’t have those kinds of heads of household. But all the members of our household who were female were sort of living as equal and as wise as the male figures in our family.” — Ilhan Omar

29. “My family called me the ‘why kid’ growing up. I always needed to know why something is happening, why I had to do something, why whatever.” — Ilhan Omar

30. “I know that when we interact with those we fear and hate, we will find commonality.” — Ilhan Omar

31. “You can’t hate up close. Any time you have an opportunity to go talk with someone, the chances of them hating you lessen. So that is a practice we all should adopt.” — Ilhan Omar

32. “We must begin the work of dismantling the whole system of oppression, wherever we find it.” — Ilhan Omar

Ilhan Omar quotes on politics and policies

33. “Every student has something to offer, and every student deserves a nurturing learning environment.” — Ilhan Omar

34. “Our immigration policy should be based in compassion and a desire to help the other.” — Ilhan Omar

35. “We need to be constantly reminded that this is a representative democracy, and we need to be in tune to what people are talking about.” — Ilhan Omar

36. “We can all agree that we need to be helping small businesses. All of us can agree that the cost of higher education is too high, and college debt is too big of a burden for young people.” — Ilhan Omar

37. “ICE has only become increasingly militarized, brutal, and unaccountable.” — Ilhan Omar

38. “Fighting gerrymandering is one thing. The other thing is ensuring we have the right candidates for the people and not the right candidates for the Party.” — Ilhan Omar

39. “We’ve become the party that wants to appease everyone and no one. And I think the only way that the Democrats become viable again is if we have people who have moral clarity and courage to say what they need to say and fight for what they need to fight for.” — Ilhan Omar

40. “When people were selling the politics of fear and division and destruction, we were talking about hope. We were talking about the politics of joy.” — Ilhan Omar

41. “I look forward to being a voice of reason in fighting for transparent and accountable budgets.” — Ilhan Omar

42. “I am not a Somali representative. I am not a Muslim representative. I am not a millennial representative. I am not a woman representative. I am a representative who happens to have all of these marginalized identities and can understand the intersectionality of all of them in a very unique way.” — Ilhan Omar

Powerful Ilhan Omar quotes that prove she is courageous and resilient

43. “I was born in that breath of recognizing that they might be more powerful than you are, that they might have more technology than you have, they might think that they are wiser than you, they might control all of the institutions, but you control your mind, and that is what sets you free.” — Ilhan Omar

44. “I’m not easily scared; from the age of 8, I learned what it means to have everything you know taken away and what it means to persevere. I approach politics the same way.” — Ilhan Omar

45. “I’m a survivor of war. And if I survived militia, I certainly can survive these people.” — Ilhan Omar

46. “The house I was born in, in Somalia, was right next to a big market. A lot of beggars or panhandlers would be in front of our house constantly, and my grandfather and grandmother would always invite them in to have food with us and have them take whatever was leftover.” — Ilhan Omar

47. “Life in Somalia before the civil war was beautiful. When the war happened, I was 8 years old and at that stage of understanding the world in a different way.” — Ilhan Omar

48. “My kids are the reason I continue to strive for something better. They know – as kids who are Muslim, Somali, black Americans – that they’ve always been part of a struggle and that change isn’t easy.” — Ilhan Omar

49. “People often talk about how I’m courageous, but I believe everybody should be courageous. Courage is being scared to death but remaining resolute.” — Ilhan Omar

50. “I know how it feels to be hated because of my religious beliefs.” — Ilhan Omar

What did you learn from these Ilhan Omar quotes?

In high school, Omar volunteered as a student organizer. She went to North Dakota State University in 2011 and graduated with a bachelor’s degree in political science and international studies. Omar was also a Policy Fellow at the University of Minnesota’s Humphrey School of Public Affairs.

She served as campaign manager for Kari Dziedzic’s reelection campaign in 2012. Then she managed Andrew Johnson’s campaign for Minneapolis City Council and became his Senior Policy Aide until 2015.

She ran her own political race in 2016, running for a Minnesota House of Representatives seat in District 60B on the Democratic–Farmer–Labor (DFL) ticket. She defeated Mohamud Noor and incumbent Phyllis Kahn in the DFL primary.

Her chief opponent, Republican nominee Abdimalik Askar, another activist in the Somali-American community, withdrew from the campaign in August. Her first term as a legislator in the United States House of Representatives began on January 3, 2017. As you might have seen from the quotes above, she has big plans for her future in politics.

What’s your biggest takeaway from these Ilhan Omar quotes and sayings? Do you have any other favorite quotes to add? Let us know in the comment section below.



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50 Werner Herzog Quotes from the Legendary Film Director (2021)


Many of the Werner Herzog quotes below are regarded as inspirational especially in the field of filmmaking.

Werner Herzog, German film director, and screenwriter is considered as one of the high-profile figures in New German cinema. He was influential in spearheading the post-war West German cinema movement. Up to this day, Herzog has offered a whole new approach to filmmaking in modern times.

Known for his ambitious protagonists, characters with unique talents, and individuals who maintain a conflict with his/her surroundings, Herzog’s critically-acclaimed creations are considered film treasures. He depicts human dilemmas and has made award-winning films and series that top-grossed internationally including The Mandalorian, Aguirre, the Wrath of God, as well as Jack Reacher.

Here are some of the best Werner Herzog quotes about filmmaking to teach you a thing or two about life in general.

Don’t forget to also check out these inspiring Quentin Tarantino quotes on film-making, writing and more.

Werner Herzog Quotes about Cinema

1. “Academia is the death of cinema. It is the very opposite of passion. Film is not the art of scholars, but of illiterates.” – Werner Herzog

2. “Read, read, read, read, read, read, read, read, read, read, read, read, read…if you don’t read, you will never be a filmmaker.” – Werner Herzog

3. “In the face of the obscene, explicit malice of the jungle, which lacks only dinosaurs as punctuation, I feel like a half-finished, poorly expressed sentence in a cheap novel.” – Werner Herzog

4. “May I propose a Herzog dictum? those who read own the world and those who watch television lose it.” – Werner Herzog

5. “There are deeper strata of truth in cinema, and there is such a thing as poetic, ecstatic truth. It is mysterious and elusive, and can be reached only through fabrication and imagination and stylization.” – Werner Herzog

6. “Someone like Jean-Luc Godard is for me intellectual counterfeit money when compared to a good kung fu film.” – Werner Herzog

7. “If you’re purely after facts, please buy yourself the phone directory of Manhattan. It has four million times correct facts. But it doesn’t illuminate.” – Werner Herzog

8. “A fairly young, intelligent-looking man with long hair asked me whether filming or being filmed could do harm, whether it could destroy a person. In my heart, the answer was yes, but I said no.” – Werner Herzog

9. “I’m quite convinced that cooking is the only alternative to film making. Maybe there’s also another alternative, that’s walking on foot.” – Werner Herzog

Inspirational Werner Herzog Quotes on Life

10. “What would an ocean be without a monster lurking in the dark? It would be like sleep without dreams.” – Werner Herzog

11. “One more thing: Philippe, you are not a coward-so what I want to hear from you is the ecstatic truth about the twin towers.” – Werner Herzog

12. “I believe the common denominator of the universe is not harmony; but chaos, hostility and murder.” – Werner Herzog

13. “Facts do not convey truth. That’s a mistake. Facts create norms, but truth creates illumination.” – Werner Herzog

14. “Look into the eyes of a chicken and you will see real stupidity. It is a kind of bottomless stupidity, a fiendish stupidity. They are the most horrifying, cannibalistic, and nightmarish creatures in the world.” – Werner Herzog

15. “People think we had a love-hate relationship. Well, I did not love him, nor did I hate him. We had mutual respect for each other, even as we both planned each other’s murder.” – Werner Herzog

16. “You should look straight at a film; that’s the only way to see one. Film is not the art of scholars but of illiterates.” – Werner Herzog

17. “What would an ocean be without a monster lurking in the dark? It would be like sleep without dreams.” – Werner Herzog

18. “I have never been one of those who cares about happiness. Happiness is a strange notion. I am just not made for it. It has never been a goal of mine; I do not think in those terms.” – Werner Herzog

19. “I prefer to be alive, so I’m cautious about taking risks.” – Werner Herzog

20. “I’m not into the culture of complaint. I roll up my sleeves and somehow I get it together.” – Werner Herzog

21. “Martin Luther was asked, what would you do if tomorrow the world would come to an end, and he said, ‘I would plant an apple tree today.’ This is a real good answer. I would start shooting a movie.” – Werner Herzog

22. “You will learn more by walking from Canada to Guatemala than you will ever learn in film school.” – Werner Herzog

Motivational Quotes from Werner Herzog

23. “Do you not then hear this horrible scream all around you that people usually call silence.” – Werner Herzog

24. “When you look at the paintings at Chauvet Cave, they’re not primitive or like children’s little scribbles, it bursts on the scene fully accomplished and when you look through the faces of cultural history, art history, it has never gotten any better.” – Werner Herzog

25. “We are surrounded by worn-out, banal, useless, and exhausted images, limping and dragging themselves behind the rest of our cultural evolution.” – Werner Herzog

26. “Get used to the bear behind you.” – Werner Herzog

27. “If you do not have an absolutely clear vision of something, where you can follow the light to the end of the tunnel, then it doesn’t matter whether you’re bold or cowardly, or whether you’re stupid or intelligent. Doesn’t get you anywhere.” – Werner Herzog

28. “Sometimes bad luck hits you like in an ancient Greek tragedy, and it’s not your own making. When you have a plane crash, it’s not your fault.” – Werner Herzog

29. “Nothing I have witnessed, from lava to crustacean, assailed me liked the caked debris haunting that small plastic soap hammock in the smaller of the bathrooms. Nausea is not a sufficient word.” – Werner Herzog

30. “Truth itself wanders through the forests.” – Werner Herzog

31. “Life in the oceans must be sheer hell. A vast, merciless hell of permanent and immediate danger. So much of a hell that during evolution some species – including man – crawled, fled onto some small continents of solid land, where the Lessons of Darkness continue.” – Werner Herzog

32. “I would travel down to Hell and wrestle a film away from the devil if it was necessary.” – Werner Herzog

33. “Fact creates norms and truth illumination.” – Werner Herzog

34. “The world reveals itself to those who travel on foot.” – Werner Herzog

35. “I discover no kinship, no understanding, no mercy. I see only the overwhelming indifference of nature.” – Werner Herzog

More Werner Herzog Quotes and Sayings

36. “In the evening I finished reading a book, and because I was feeling so alone, I buried the book on the edge of the forest with a borrowed spade.” – Werner Herzog

37. “The danger is to stupidly believe that depicting facts gives us much insight. If facts were the only thing that counted, the telephone directory would be the book of books.” – Werner Herzog

38. “I love nature, but against my better judgment.” – Werner Herzog

39. “I think it is a quest of literature throughout the ages to describe the human condition.” – Werner Herzog

40. “I am torn between the beauty of the natural world, which you see all around us, and the idea that some dumb tornado could blow a telephone pole onto my sweet Camaro.” – Werner Herzog

41. “For such an advanced civilization as ours to be without images that are adequate to it is as serious a defect as being without memory.” – Werner Herzog

42. “At the market, I ate a piece of a grilled monkey —it looked like a naked child.” – Werner Herzog

43. “Civilization is like a thin layer of ice upon a deep ocean of chaos and darkness.” – Werner Herzog

44. “Tourism is a mortal sin.” – Werner Herzog

45. “I despise formal restaurants. I find all of that formality to be very base and vile. I would much rather eat potato chips on the sidewalk.” – Werner Herzog

46. “Every man should pull a boat over a mountain once in his life.” – Werner Herzog

47. “Film is not analysis, it is the agitation of mind; cinema comes from the country fair and the circus, not from art and academicism.” – Werner Herzog

48. “I find all of that a representation of a desert or a forest. It shows an inner state of mind, literally inner landscapes, and it is the human soul that is visible through the landscapes presented in my films.” – Werner Herzog

49. “I think psychology and self-reflection is one of the major catastrophes of the twentieth century.” – Werner Herzog

50. “I have a great map of the Tibesti Mountains in the southern Sahara or Northern Chad. It’s a dream of mine to go there, but it’s such a volatile area, you have to be prudent.” – Werner Herzog

What did you learn from these Werner Herzog quotes?

By just seeing the movies and documentaries created by the filmmaker, one will realize his distinct style that is far different from others. He has a unique approach in relaying the human story to the audience, capturing their inner core, even teasing their critical thinking.

As a role model in filmmaking, Werner Herzog’s quotes truly captivate the heart of aspiring filmmakers, inspiring them to further educate themselves and elevate their talent in the world of cinemas. There are many wannabe directors who would want to be under his supervision and have him as their mentor.

Herzog’s students will surely learn a lot from his teachings, not only in creating meaningful films through strategies and techniques but also in the art of transcending messages beyond boundaries and time.

What did you learn from these Werner Herzog quotes and sayings? Do you have any other favorite quotes to add? Let us know in the comment section below.



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