Why It’s Important to Keep Learning in Your Career & How to Do It

No matter what your standing is at your job or in your career, it’s important to continue learning and developing new skills. Most people know this, but it’s often easier said than done.

When you’ve hit a stride at work, it can be difficult to step outside the habits you’ve developed to actively pursue continuing education. Between deadlines, meetings, family life and everything else in between, there isn’t much time for a career-boosting class.

In order to keep up with the ever-evolving job space, however, it’s important to dust off those pencils and books to invest some time in continuing education. Here are a few ways to jumpstart your career development:

Brush up on Your Computer Skills

If there’s one area that’s always changing, it’s computers. The digital space is chock full of new apps, websites and programs for you to learn.

Unless you’re a software developer, your skillset likely doesn’t include things like HTML, JavaScript or UX (User Experience) design. In a lot of jobs, however, having a basic understanding of these and other things can be a huge bonus.

If these, or other digital skills like Photoshop, SQL and CSS are appealing to you, there are a ton of resources out there, including websites like General Assembly that have online courses you can go through at your own pace. That means flexibility to learn on your own schedule — and a price that won’t break the bank.

Find a Mentor

Often, we think of coaches and mentors as people who come into our lives in our formative years. Athletic coaches, guidance counselors and academic mentors can be the most influential people in our lives during those years, but when it comes to our careers, we don’t have the same ideas.

Career coaches and mentors are underutilized in a lot of industries. Really, having a coach can have the same impact on us in adulthood as it did in our adolescence. After all, top athletes have coaches in their adult careers. Why not you?

Having a coach or finding a mentor can help you work on the skills you need, and they can give you an objective point of view on how you work. This person doesn’t have to be someone you pay, either. Look for connections in your field you admire, and ask for their advice. It’s that simple.

Take a Public Speaking Course

Few jobs out there require you to be absolutely silent. Even in the ones that do, chances are you’ll come across a reason to be eloquent and confident in public.

Taking a public speaking course is an easy way to enhance your career. Even if you aren’t making speeches in public or sitting on panels at conferences, speaking is a skill you’ll utilize in other aspects of work.

For example, you might need to learn to speak with authority when managing people or to express confidence when asking for a raise or promotion. Each of these situations utilizes techniques a public speaking class or coach will give you. It’s a smart investment in all areas of your career — and in your life as well.

Get Additional Certifications

If your job requires you to be certified or to have a specialized degree, don’t think that once you have it, that’s the end of your training. Certifications tend to evolve over time, and as you progress in your career, it’s important to stay up-to-date.

Whether you’re looking for a broad certification or something more specialized to bring focus to your current career, there are a ton of online resources that offer courses specialized to your state and existing license. Some of them are even free!

Boosting your career with continuing education doesn’t have to be a huge undertaking, nor does it have to be expensive. By doing a little research and some thinking outside the box, you’ll be ready for your next career challenge in no time.

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5 Reasons to Never Gossip at Work

It is so tempting. Your colleagues are hovered around the Keurig sharing the latest news about the new girl in accounting:

“She was out partying so late last night.” 

“I bet she has a problem, like, with drinking or something.”

“Do you guys think this is why she got fired from her last job?”

And you just want to hop in and join them. This is good stuff! In fact, you overheard her having a fight with someone on her cell phone, so you can contribute something new, maybe even juicy. You can be the center of attention for a few moments. You are in the know. You will seem so important!

Whenever you feel this way – STOP! There is absolutely no upside to engaging in office gossip, except possibly to endear yourself to other office gossips and believe me, that is not the crowd you want to run with. There is a multitude of reasons not to join this particular conversation. Here are the top five.

Don’t forget to also check out these gossip quotes that will help you eliminate rumors from your life at work.

Why You Should Never Gossip at Work

1. It’s None of Your Business

What your co-workers do on their own time is their business. Period. If something you’ve heard about them might affect your job performance (not theirs, unless you are their direct supervisor) or endanger the company, then speak to the person directly, without judgment, to ascertain the facts and see what can be done to fix the situation.

Don’t discuss it with anyone else unless you or the company are experiencing negative consequences, and even then, only in the context of addressing a specific problem and only with the one or two people whose job it is to handle it. For anything else you’ve seen or heard, give everyone their privacy, just as you would want yours, which leads us to…

2. People Will Talk About You

When you engage in office gossip, you open yourself up much more to being the subject of it. Think about what you’re saying about another person. Now picture that same conversation happening about you in the break room or the bathroom when you aren’t around.

There are practical applications to the adage, “Judge not, lest ye be judged.” The more you judge, the more you open yourself to the judgment of others, and since none of us are without flaws and stumbles, why put yourself in that position?

3. You’ll Be Seen as Untrustworthy

Whenever I am around someone who is spilling someone else’s secrets, I never think, “Oh, this is good – tell me more!” I always make a mental note: “Never tell this person anything you don’t want broadcast throughout the company.”

In the workplace, information has value and power. The more people can trust you with their information, the farther you can go, and the more value you can bring to yourself and your employer. Staying out of the gossip is a great way to become a leader, not a follower. Why destroy that possibility by letting people know they can’t trust you?

I once worked in an office where I was assigned an assistant, Agnes (not her real name), and before the end of her first day with me, the office manager came by my desk to warn me to be careful about what I shared with her. I’ll never forget what she said: “If you want everyone to know something, you can telegraph, telephone or tell Agnes.” Trust me, that is the reputation you do not want among your colleagues.

4. You Might Be Wrong

Think about how small and horrible you’ll feel after telling everyone that Bob’s wife is leaving him when you discover that she was just out of town taking care of her sick mother. Even if gossip is true, you don’t want to share it, but it is especially damaging when it’s not true.

Also, spreading something untrue about a co-worker that affects their job in any way – a loss of promotion, firing, etc. – subjects you to a lawsuit for slander. And if you put it in writing (including email and text messages, which are never fully erased and much easier to subpoena than you think), that becomes libel. Better safe (and silent) than sorry!

5. Gossip Creates a Toxic Work Environment

According to Gallup, American companies lose $450-550 billion a year (yes, billion) solely as a result of unhappiness in the workplace. Unhappy employees are more likely to call in sick, quit without notice, steal, engage in workplace violence, file a workers compensation claim, and a slew of other bad outcomes, and one of the chief causes of unhappiness is a toxic work environment.

Gossip leads to toxicity. It creates a culture of fear and mistrust and makes everyone less happy at work. The person who is the subject of the gossip feels ridiculed and embarrassed and everyone else sees that they have to watch their backs. None of this allows for creativity, efficiency or just plain fun.

When I consult with companies on how to lower costs, increase productivity and maximize profits by making happiness a priority in the workplace, I always include a training unit on how to counsel, control, curb (and, if needed, can) the toxic employees. Companies save millions just by weeding out those who are poisoning the workplace, and you do not want to be the person they’re all looking at. Being the office gossip puts you on that list.

These are my top five reasons for keeping someone else’s juicy news to yourself. If you have others, please share them in the comments below. Together, we can build happy, productive workplaces where everyone is empowered to do their best.

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50 Classic Wuthering Heights Quotes

These Wuthering Heights quotes are for the classic literature reader and anyone who loves a touch of romanticism.

The classic novel, Wuthering Heights, written in 1847 by Emily Brontë is the tale of two British elite families, the Earnshaws and the Lintons, and their challenges with Heathcliff, the Earnshaw’s adopted son.

While now considered a classic, this novel received very mixed reviews at the time of its publishing due to its controversial take on the morals and values of society at the time. This novel marries the gothic and romantic writing styles of the time bringing an emotionally turbulent tone with no shortage of love and longing to the story.

Here are some of our favorite Wuthering Heights quotes and excerpts from the book.

Don’t forget to also check out these book quotes: from romantic, funny, inspiring and sad books.

Famous Wuthering Heights Quotes

1. “He’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” – Wuthering Heights

2. “I wish I were a girl again, half-savage and hardy, and free.” – Wuthering Heights

3. “If he loved with all the powers of his puny being, he couldn’t love as much in eighty years as I could in a day.” – Wuthering Heights

4. “If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.” – Wuthering Heights

5. “I have to remind myself to breathe — almost to remind my heart to beat!” – Wuthering Heights

6. “Be with me always – take any form – drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I can not live without my life! I can not live without my soul!” – Wuthering Heights

7. “She burned too bright for this world.” – Wuthering Heights

8. “It was not the thorn bending to the honeysuckles, but the honeysuckles embracing the thorn.” – Wuthering Heights

9. “Honest people don’t hide their deeds.” – Wuthering Heights

10. “I have not broken your heart – you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine.” – Wuthering Heights

Romantic Wuthering Heights Quotes about Love

11. “If you ever looked at me once with what I know is in you, I would be your slave.” – Wuthering Heights

12. “I’m wearying to escape into that glorious world, and to be always there: not seeing it dimly through tears, and yearning for it through the walls of an aching heart: but really with it, and in it.” – Wuthering Heights

13. “In every cloud, in every tree-filling the air at night, and caught by glimpses in every object, by day I am surrounded with her image!”- Wuthering Heights

14. “She could be soft and mild as a dove, and she had a gentle voice and pensive expression: her anger was never furious; her love never fierce; it was deep and tender.” – Wuthering Heights

15. “You know that I could as soon forget you as my existence!” – Wuthering Heights

16. “My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary.” – Wuthering Heights

17. “They forgot everything the minute they were together again.” – Wuthering Heights

Wuthering Heights Quotes That Portray Pain

18. “Do I want to live? . . .[W]ould you like to live with your soul in the grave?” – Wuthering Heights

19. “You teach me now how cruel you’ve been—cruel and false. Why did you despise me? Why did you betray your own heart, Cathy? I have not one word of comfort.” – Wuthering Heights

20. “You loved me—then what right had you to leave me?” – Wuthering Heights

21. “I gave him my heart, and he took and pinched it to death; and flung it back to me. People feel with their hearts, Ellen, and since he has destroyed mine, I have not power to feel for him.” – Wuthering Heights

22. “Existence, after losing her, would be hell.” – Wuthering Heights

23. “‘Are you possessed with a devil,’ he pursued, savagely, ‘to talk in that manner to me when you are dying? Do you reflect that all those words will be branded in my memory, and eating deeper eternally after you have left me?‘” – Wuthering Heights

24. “You are welcome to torture me to death for your amusement, only allow me to amuse myself a little in the same style, and refrain from insult as much as you are able.” – Wuthering Heights

Emotionally Charged Wuthering Heights Quotes

25. “Terror made me cruel.” – Wuthering Heights

26. “Treachery and violence are spears pointed at both ends; they wound those who resort to them worse than their enemies.” – Wuthering Heights

27. “I seek no revenge on you. That’s not the plan. The Tyrant grinds down his slaves, and they don’t turn against him; they crush those beneath them.” – Wuthering Heights

28. “It is a moral teething; and I grind with greater energy in proportion to the increase of pain.” – Wuthering Heights

29. “I have no pity! I have no pity! The more the worms writhe, the more I yearn to crush out their entrails!” – Wuthering Heights

30. “I want you to be aware that I know you have treated me infernally—infernally! . . . and if you think I can be consoled by sweet words, you are an idiot: and if you fancy I’ll suffer unrevenged, I’ll convince you of the contrary, in a very little while!” – Wuthering Heights

31. “However miserable you make us, we shall still have the revenge of thinking that your cruelty arises from your greater misery.” – Wuthering Heights

32. “If you have not the courage to attack him, make an apology or allow yourself to be beaten. It will correct you of feigning more valor than you possess.” – Wuthering Heights

33. “In my soul and in my heart, I’m convinced I’m wrong!” – Wuthering Heights

Aloof Wuthering Heights Quotes

34. “He shall never know I love him.” – Wuthering Heights

35. “I have dreamt in my life, dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they have gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind. And this is one: I’m going to tell it – but take care not to smile at any part of it.” – Wuthering Heights

36. “Nelly, I am Heathcliff! He’s always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being.” – Wuthering Heights

37. “It is not in him to be loved like me: how can she love in him what he has not?” – Wuthering Heights

38. “He might as well plant an oak in a flower-pot and expect it to thrive, as imagine he can restore her to vigor in the soil of his shallow cares!” – Wuthering Heights

39. “I’m now quite cured of seeking pleasure in society, be it country or town. A sensible man ought to find sufficient company in himself.” – Wuthering Heights

40. “But I begin to fancy you don’t like me. How strange! I thought, though everybody hated and despised each other, they could not avoid loving me.” – Wuthering Heights

41. “Guests are so exceedingly rare in this house that I and my dogs, I am willing to own, hardly know how to receive them.” – Wuthering Heights

More Wuthering Heights Quotes

42. “A person who has not done one half his day’s work by ten o’clock, runs a chance of leaving the other half undone.” – Wuthering Heights

43. “A wild, wicked slip she was.” – Wuthering Heights

44. “I lingered round them, under that benign sky: watched the moths fluttering among the heath and harebells, listened to the soft wind breathing through the grass, and wondered how anyone could ever imagine unquiet slumbers for the sleepers in that quiet earth.” – Wuthering Heights

45. “Time brought resignation, and a melancholy sweeter than common joy.” – Wuthering Heights

46. “You needn’t have touched me! I shall be as dirty as I please, and I like to be dirty, and I will be dirty.” – Wuthering Heights

47. “Heaven did not seem to be my home; and I broke my heart with weeping to come back to earth; and the angels grew so angry that they flung me out onto the middle of the heath on the top of Wuthering Heights; where I woke to sob for joy.” – Wuthering Heights

48. “Misery and death and all the evils that God and man could have ever done would never have patted us.” – Wuthering Heights

49. “It is hard to forgive, and to look at those eyes, and feel those wasted hands,’ he answered. ‘Kiss me again; and don’t let me see your eyes! I forgive what you have done to me. I love my murderer—but yours! How can I?” – Wuthering Heights

50. “He wanted all to lie in an ecstasy of peace; I wanted all to sparkle and dance in a glorious jubilee. I said his heaven would be only half alive; and he said mine would be drunk.” – Wuthering Heights

Which of these Wuthering Heights quotes is your favorite?

True to the romantic and gothic styles of the time, the characters in Wuthering Heights experience quite a bout of emotional turbulence throughout their relationships with one another. Author Emily Brontë does a fantastic job bringing the story to life allowing the readers to feel the emotions of the characters without bounds.

There are not many books that stand the test of time. But this book has continued to be a favorite even though it was written almost 175 years ago.

Whether you are a dedicated reader of the classics, an English teacher, or just someone who appreciates a good book, you can allow your emotions to dance as you read this classic novel.

What’s your biggest takeaway from these Wuthering Heights quotes and lines? Do you have any other favorite quotes to add? Let us know in the comment section below.

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50 Snoopy Quotes to Take You Back to Your Childhood

The best Snoopy quotes from everyone’s favorite animated dog.

You may remember Snoopy from the classic Peanuts comic strip by Charles Schulz. He is everyone’s favorite beagle but much more than an ordinary dog. Snoopy has a passion for life. He loves to read and write, collect art, and, of course, drink root beer.

Snoopy’s adventurous spirit equips him with wisdom and great humor that he loves to share with Charlie Brown and his friends. The infamous perch atop his dog house is our favorite place to see this one-of-a-kind character. And you just can’t wait to see what he does next as you read the comics or watch him in the films.

Here are some of the best Snoopy quotes.

Don’t forget to also check out these Kingdom Hearts quotes to escape into a fantasy world.

Snoopy Quotes about life everyone needs to hear

1. “Never forget to smile.” – Snoopy

2. “Keep looking up…that’s the secret of life.” – Snoopy

3. “Be yourself. No one can say you’re doing it wrong.” – Snoopy

4. “Everyone understands kindness.” – Snoopy

5. “Never stress on what you can’t control and never worry about what isn’t yours.” – Snoopy

6. “The less you want, the more you love.” – Snoopy

7. “I don’t have time to worry about who doesn’t like me. I’m too busy loving the people who love me.” – Snoopy

8. “Each of us has his own calling.” – Snoopy

Snoopy quotes we can all relate to

9. “I think I’m allergic to morning.” – Snoopy

10. “Has It Ever Occurred to You That You Might Be Wrong?” – Snoopy

11. “I can’t…I’m thinking about pizza.” – Snoopy

12. “Quite often lately I have the feeling I don’t know what’s going on.” – Snoopy

13. “Rats…I forgot what I was going to say.” – Snoopy

14. “Unfortunately, it’s very hard to forget anyone by drinking root beer.” – Snoopy

15. “My mind reels with sarcastic replies.” – Snoopy

16. “I don’t know why I look at the menu… I always order the same thing.” – Snoopy

17. “Tell them I’m busy.” – Snoopy

18. “Dear IRS, Please remove me from your mailing list.” – Snoopy

Heartwarming Snoopy quotes and pictures

19. “My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I’m happy. I can’t figure it out. What am I doing right?” – Snoopy

20. “When life knocks you down, roll over and look at the stars.” – Snoopy

21. “Just thinking about a friend makes you want to do a happy dance.” – Snoopy

22. “I love when you’re here.” – Snoopy

23. “A friend is someone who loves you in spite of your faults.” – Snoopy

24. “Jogging is very beneficial. It’s good for your legs and your feet. It’s also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed.” – Snoopy

25. “Friendship is doing nothing special and enjoying it.” – Snoopy

26. “I know what I need. I need more hellos.” – Snoopy

Silly Snoopy Quotes

27. “My version of a triathlon is a donut, a pizza, and a hot fudge sundae!” – Snoopy

28. “All his life he tried to be a good person. Many times, however, he failed. For, after all, he was only human. He wasn’t a dog.” – Snoopy

29. “Learn from yesterday, live for today, look to tomorrow, rest this afternoon.” – Snoopy

30. “Sometimes when I get up in the morning, I feel very peculiar. I feel like I’ve just got to bite a cat! I feel like if I don’t bite a cat before sundown, I’ll go crazy! But then I just take a deep breath and forget about it. That’s what is known as real maturity.” – Snoopy

31. “Beauty Tips – How to Look Younger…Don’t be born so soon.” – Snoopy

32. “Next time I’ll bite her on the leg.” – Snoopy

33. “I gave up trying to understand people long ago. Now I just let them try to understand me!” – Snoopy

34. “I couldn’t eat breakfast– I was missing you. I couldn’t eat lunch– I was missing you. I 35. couldn’t eat supper–I was missing you. I couldn’t sleep– I was too hungry.” – Snoopy

35. “More health tips: Eat lots of fruits and vegetables. Get plenty of rest. And learn to duck.” – Snoopy

36. “Yesterday I was a dog. Today I’m a dog. Tomorrow I’ll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There’s so little hope for advancement.” – Snoopy

Insightful Snoopy Quotes

37. “To live is to dance, to dance is to live.” – Snoopy

38. “Why can’t we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn’t work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves and then we have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes.” – Snoopy

39. “A whole stack of memories will never equal one little hope.” – Snoopy

40. “Throw and some will fetch, jog and some will run; but love them and you’ll get it all back.” – Snoopy

41. “Life is full of rude awakenings.” – Snoopy

More Snoopy quotes and images

42. “There’s no sense in doing a lot of barking if you don’t really have anything to say.” – Snoopy

43. “Some of us are born dogs, and some of us are born rabbits. When the chips are down, I’ll have to admit that my sympathy lies with the rabbits.” – Snoopy

44. “My dad used to run with the hounds but his sympathies were elsewhere. He used to run on ahead and warn the rabbits!” – Snoopy

45. “You play with the cards you’re dealt…Whatever that means.” – Snoopy

46. “To me, the ugliest sight in the world is an empty dog dish.” – Snoopy

47. “Every now and then I feel my existence is justified.” – Snoopy

48. “Feet should stay awake in case you need to go some place in a hurry!” – Snoopy

49. “You can’t say you’ve lived until you’ve poofed a dandelion.” – Snoopy

50. “It was a dark and stormy night.” – Snoopy

What did you learn from these Snoopy quotes?

Hopefully, you can see by now why Snoopy is a fan favorite in the Peanuts comic series. He is a dog capable of feeling emotions just the same as you and me. Far too often we relate to him perhaps a bit too much.

Whether it’s sharing insightful life advice, opening up his loving heart, or charming us with his sense of humor, Snoopy is always saying something worth hearing even if he isn’t actually speaking it. His words appear as thought bubbles all throughout the comic strips.

And after rereading through his quotes again, it’s easy to see why he’s been a favorite character for decades and decades.

What’s your favorite Snoopy moment? Do you have any other Snoopy quotes and lines? Let us know in the comment section below.

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What No One Tells You About Setting Boundaries: The Good, Bad, and Ugly

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” ~Rumi

Three years back was the first time I dared to set a boundary and be assertive in a friendship, and guess what? She blocked me off her phone, and we stopped being friends.

It came as a rude shock because I was quite invested in the friendship. Not only did we have good times together, I had helped her search and find a job and even babysat her kid for a long while free of charge. I felt betrayed and hurt. It made me feel like I was the one in the wrong, the bad person, and like I had no right to say what felt right to me.

I admit that I was early in my journey of being assertive and learning how to set boundaries, so my skill set wasn’t the best. But despite the mayhem and chaos it caused, it was a good thing for me.

We were similar in many ways, and I knew she was a lovely person. Still, I didn’t particularly appreciate that she always wanted to be in charge, acted as though she knew it all, only wanted her way, and behaved as though she had the world’s worst problems.

I empathized with her because she shared her struggles with me. But I didn’t share mine back partly because I wasn’t comfortable and partly because I felt there was no place for me; it was only about her. So, one day, when I’d had enough, I exploded and said what I had to say, rudely, and that ended the relationship.

Three years later, when the dust settled, we started talking. We are cordial, civilized, and respectful now. We share laughs and anecdotes, but it’ll never be the same because we’ve both changed, and our relationship has changed as well.

After taking this journey, I’ve concluded that being assertive and setting boundaries is not as easy as it sounds. But it’s the only way to regain your sense of self, sanity, and self-love.

What are the Benefits of Maintaining Boundaries?

Boundaries are limits between us and other people that enable us to honor our feelings, wants, and needs and take good care of ourselves. We need to set boundaries because:

  • Boundaries offer protection against people who habitually do things that leave us feeling uncomfortable.
  • Correcting troublesome behavior and letting other people know what’s acceptable or not, where we stand and what we are willing to tolerate, drastically improves our sense of self.
  • Setting boundaries helps us trust ourselves and, in turn, trust others.
  • It helps us treat ourselves and others as equal, with respect and dignity.
  • It teaches us what’s essential for us and gives us the courage to stand up for it.
  • It builds our confidence as we work on our assertiveness muscle.
  • Boundary-setting is generous to others because it allows them to grow and take responsibility for themselves, their actions, and their issues.

So, if boundary-setting is such a good thing, what’s the problem?

The problem is that it’s hard, especially for people who are not used to setting boundaries. It can make you question yourself and your intentions and turn your world topsy-turvy.

Why Is Boundary-Setting So Difficult?

Most people with weak boundaries:

  • Are not aware of their needs, and this takes lots of time and practice
  • Are afraid to stand up for themselves
  • Don’t believe that they deserve to have their boundaries recognized and honored
  • Are afraid that people will think they are selfish
  • Think it is wrong to think about themselves because of various cultural or religious influences
  • Believe that what they want is unreasonable

How Do You Start Setting Boundaries?

1. Take inventory.

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt like you were being taken advantage of, taken for granted, or treated disrespectfully? When you feel any of these things, you need to ask yourself:

  • What are you feeling? Is it anger, hurt, betrayal?
  • What brought about those feelings? What did the other person do? Did they disregard your feelings or act dismissive? Did they cross a line you’d rather no one cross?
  • How did you react to the situation? Did you ignore it, make an excuse for them, or get angry and resentful, but fake a smile?
  • Why did you tolerate this behavior and respond this way? What were you afraid of?

So, the first step is being conscious of what happened and what you’re feeling.

This is essential because it helps you become aware of your needs, wants, and limits, notice when someone is neglecting or violating them, and reflect on how you usually respond—and why.

2. Be honest and courageous.

The second step is being honest about what you would like to do in the situation and reflecting so you can find the fairest and healthiest way to respond.

Then comes the hardest part: finding the courage to act even if it may displease, anger, or irritate the other person.

Everything inside you might scream that this is a mistake. You may feel scared, anxious, and even unsafe speaking up. But remember that ignoring the issue is not a solution because you will just end up feeling resentful if you continually avoid saying what you really want to say.

 What No One Tells You About Setting Boundaries

1. You may feel guilty.

Somewhere down the line, you may have learned that your needs, feelings, and wants are less important than others’. When you start making changes, it may feel like you are embarking on a journey of selfishness and betraying the very core of your being.

2. You will likely make mistakes.

You are learning a new skill, and mistakes are bound to happen. You may overreact to minor issues or fail to communicate your feelings and needs accurately or clearly. There’s no right or wrong here, only a learning curve. You can always change your decision or apologize later if you realize that your decision wasn’t the best.

3. It sometimes feels like you are at war with yourself.

To some extent, that’s what this is. A war with what you once believed to be true but isn’t anymore, a war against your default responses.

4.  It is not easy.

It will sometimes mean wrong turns, slip-ups, and lost relationships. But if you’re honest with yourself, you may realize that those relationships were already dead to begin with; you were trying to nurture doomed relationships because you were afraid to let them go.

5. It makes you confront demons you didn’t know you had.

Your insecurity, your feelings of low self-worth, your fear of being rejected or alone—all this and more bubbles to the surface when you get honest about why you’ve struggled with boundary-setting and start pushing past your blocks.

6. It takes all you have, tears you up, and breaks you down.

But when it’s all done and over you build strength, wisdom, and trust in yourself. You learn to give your feelings more credence, knowing they’re an internal signal that something is off and you need to investigate them further so you can decide what’s really best for you.

So yes, boundaries can be life-changing, but the emotional upheaval that often accompanies them isn’t for the fainthearted. Changing yourself, getting out of your comfort zone, doing what is right for you can trigger your reptilian brain, which craves safety, making you feel like you are doing something wrong. Arnold Bennet rightly says that all change, even for the better, is accompanied by discomfort.

Deepak Chopra said that “All great changes are preceded by chaos.” I believe the benefits of maintaining boundaries make the chaos worth it.

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How to Find a Mentor at Work?

There are many positive reasons to find a mentor at work. Maybe you are floundering in your job. Perhaps you just cannot seem to get past a certain hurdle.

You may be the type of person who works best with peer supervision and gets their best ideas from bouncing ideas off of someone who has been successful.

Or, maybe you just want to be the best you can be, and give yourself the chance for forward movement within the company.

There are a number of things to consider when looking for a mentor, and we are going to address them here. Having a good fit, an enjoyable person, and someone who possesses a vast array of skills is only part of the selection process.

Also, this selections process probably works two ways, as you are asking someone to take on extra work to help mentor you.

Don’t forget to also check out these inspiring mentor quotes for more guidance.

How to Find a Mentor at Work?

It is a very good idea to know your mentor, well if possible.

First, a stranger is going to be less likely to be open to mentoring someone. Second, you want to know the person’s work inside and out, so that you feel confident with the person you are choosing. Also, if you know them, you probably have a good sense of if they would be open to a mentor type of situation.

If you ask a stranger, the answer is almost always “no.” If you ask a respected colleague they are more likely to be flattered and believe in your motivations for wanting a mentor.

Someone you know is also more likely to give you honest and practical advice. They will understand how you learn, and how to approach you, so you avoid a lot of the learning process when it comes to strangers getting to know each other.

Pick someone that you like as a mentor.

You are going to be spending a great deal of time with this person, and getting honest feedback. So, it becomes essential that this is someone you enjoy being around. It will make both of you more open to the process. The mentor will feel more able to be open with you, and the mentee will understand that feedback is coming from a good place.

Another reason to pick someone where there is mutual affection is that they will genuinely be invested in you doing well. There will not be a sense of competition holding them back. Instead, they want you to grow and thrive, so they are going to be helpful, open, and give you tools that you will never receive from a stranger.

It is human nature for a stranger to only want to teach you to do much and let you go so far, they do not want you surpassing them.

You have to remember that you are a huge part of the success of your mentor-mentee relationship.

You cannot sit back and not ask questions, just observe and not get involved, and not use your mentor for the skills that made them attractive to you in the first place.

Ask tons of questions, as long as you don’t feel like they are getting annoyed. Get in their head and try to understand their process. Ask if they can delegate small tasks to you, and then the two of you can review your work so that you can constantly be improving upon yourself.

Be supportive of the success of not only your mentor’s success but the success of others. No one wants to work with someone who is bitter, and who cannot be happy for others. A good mentor will want you to step back and see why these people are getting the accolades they are, and what skills they have that you could develop. If you are able to do this, it expands the skills the two of you can work on tremendously.

Lastly, ask yourself what you want from a mentor.

You have a very clear idea of what you want in a friend and a partner, and this could prove to be just as a significant a relationship. You spend a quarter of your life at work, and you have aspirations of a bright future for yourself. So, you don’t want to just pick someone who is enjoyable, you want to pick someone who possesses the professional qualities you are looking to emulate.

While one person may be more fun, they may not tick off all the boxes that you want and need. So, make sure you have a good balance between enjoyment and achievement.

The fact of the matter is, they likely have done so well because they possess such a good balance of those two qualities. People enjoy being around them, and they respect their work.

The bottom line is to put the word out, know what you are looking for, and be very actively involved in the process if someone is willing to take you on, as they are really trying to help you move forward.

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