40 Dr. Evil Quotes from the Comical Bad Guy


Dr. Evil quotes for the hilarious villain in you!

Dr. Evil is well known to Austin Powers fans everywhere. As the villain to Austin Powers hero, he is a main character in the Austin Powers movies. And he is that hilarious, dim-witted, over-the-top villain that we all love to watch.

One of the best things about Dr. Evil is the way we get to learn more about him through his gang of misfits and his relationship with his son Scott. Dr. Evil may be best known for his relationship with his dwarf clone, Mini-Me with whom he has a hilarious relationship. Enjoy these Dr. Evil quotes!

Don’t forget to also check out these A Clockwork Orange quotes from the controversial novel and film.

Best Dr. Evil quotes from the Austin Powers movies

1. “That makes me angry, and when Dr. Evil gets angry Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset, people DIE!” – Dr. Evil

2. “There’s nothing quite as pathetic as an aging hipster.” – Dr. Evil

3. “I demand the sum of … ONE MILLION DOLLARS.” – Dr. Evil

4. “Okay, no problem. Here’s my second plan. Back in the ’60s, I had a weather changing machine that was, in essence, a sophisticated heat beam which we called a “laser.” Using these “lasers,” we punch a hole in the protective layer around the Earth, which we scientists call the “Ozone Layer.” Slowly but surely, ultraviolet rays would pour in, increasing the risk of skin cancer. That is unless the world pays us a hefty ransom.” – Dr. Evil

5. “Not really. Kill the little bastard, see if I care.” – Dr. Evil

6. “A superstitious man, he leaves a tiny keepsake on every victim he kills. Scotland Yard would love to get their hands on that piece of evidence.” – Dr. Evil

7. “Evil, Actually, Dr. Evil.” – Dr. Evil

8. “You’re the best evil son an evil dad could ever ask for.” – Dr. Evil

9. “Scott, I want you to meet daddy’s nemesis, Austin Powers.” – Dr. Evil

Funny Dr. Evil quotes

10. “Why must I be surrounded by frickin’ idiots?” – Dr. Evil

11. “Throw Me A Frickin’ Bone Here!” – Dr. Evil

12. “One more peep out of you and you’re grounded, Mister, and I am not joking. Let’s begin.” – Dr. Evil

13. “Finally, we come to my number-two man. His name? Number Two.” – Dr. Evil

14. “Open the frickin’ door!” – Dr. Evil

15. “It’s frickin’ freezing in here, Mr. Bigglesworth!” – Dr. Evil

16. “Doctor Evil! I Didn’t Spend Six Years In Evil Medical School To Be Called ‘Mister,’ Thank You Very Much.” – Dr. Evil

17. “The Details Of My Life Are Quite Inconsequential. Very Well, Where Do I Begin?” – Dr. Evil

18. “Our early attempts at a tractor beam went through several preparations. Preparations A through G were a complete failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractor beam, which we shall call… Preparation H.” – Dr. Evil

19. “Scottie’s on fire…” – Dr. Evil

20. “Scott, you just don’t get it, do ya? You don’t.” – Dr. Evil

21. “Some of you I know, some of you I’m meeting for the first time.” – Dr. Evil

22. “No. Not dead. Burnt, badly.” – Dr. Evil

23. “Let me tell you a little story about a man named SHH! SHH! Even before you start, that was a pre-emptive “shh!” Just know that I have a whole bag of “shh!” with your name on it.” – Dr. Evil

Doctor Evil quotes and phrases that will make your day

24. “You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads!” – Dr. Evil

25. “Do you like your quasi-futuristic clothes, Mr. Powers? I designed them myself.” – Dr. Evil

26. “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my underground lair. I have gathered here before me the world’s deadliest assassins.” – Dr. Evil

27. “I like to see girls of that… caliber. [pause] By “caliber,” of course, I refer to both the size of their gun barrels and the high quality of their characters… two meanings… caliber… it’s a homonym… Forget it.” – Dr. Evil

28. “I had the group LIQUIDATED, you little shit. They were insolent.” – Dr. Evil

29. “Well, congratulations numbnuts… you’ve succeeded in turning me into a frickin’ Jack in the box. Get it off! Get it off! It’s dark, it’s dark!” – Dr. Evil

30. “Gentlemen, it’s come to my attention that a breakaway Russian republic, Kreplachistan, is about to transfer a nuclear warhead to the United Nations in a few days. Here’s the plan. We get the warhead, and we hold the world ransom for… $1,000,000.” – Dr. Evil

31. “Gentlemen, I have a plan. It’s called blackmail. The Royal Family of Britain are the wealthiest landowners in the world. Either the Royal Family pays us an exorbitant amount of money, or we make it seen that Prince Charles has had an affair outside of marriage and therefore would have to divorce!” – Dr. Evil

32. “Son, wouldn’t you like to see what daddy does for a living?” – Dr. Evil

33. “Scott, that hurts daddy when you say that. Honestly.” – Dr. Evil

34. “No, actually the boy is quite astute. I really am trying to kill him, but so far unsuccessfully. He’s quite wily, like his old man.” – Dr. Evil

Other Dr. Evil quotes

35. “Are those sharks with laser beams attached to their heads?” – Dr. Evil

36. “Oh, I haven’t laughed that hard since I was a little girl. Thank you.” – Dr. Evil

37. “Is he sleeping? Well, that’s okay. I guess Mini-Me won’t get any… chocolate!” – Dr. Evil

38. “Here’s the chocolate. It’s from Bruges. That’s in Belgium. That’s where Daddy’s from. Yeah.” – Dr. Evil

39. “Yeah. He’s gone mental on account of the chocolate.” – Dr. Evil

40. “Uh-oh! Someone has some daddy issues.” – Dr. Evil

Which of these Dr. Evil quotes is your favorite?

Dr. Evil is played by Mike Myers and first appeared in the 1997 film, “Austin Powers”. As the arch-nemesis to Austin Powers, Dr. Evil is just as important to the movies as the Powers. A parody of a villain from the 1960s, he was cryogenically frozen and then released in the 1990s.

Since he has missed so much time, many of his jokes are references to things that have already happened or changed that he doesn’t know about. As you can imagine with a name like Dr. Evil, he has a funny and strange cast of characters in his service such as Mini-me, Fat Bastard, Number Two, and many more. If you are looking for a laugh, look no further and get ready to laugh until your sides hurt.

Did you enjoy these Dr. Evil quotes and lines? Which of the quotes is your favorite? Let us know in the comment section below.



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