Think you can find better Clueless quotes than these? Ugh, as if.
It’s been more than 25 years since Cher Harowitz and her besties enchanted our lives through the silver screen. Since then, Clueless went from hit 90s teen comedy to totally classic.
After all, what’s not to love about a film filled with iconic fashion, radical slang, and all the drama that comes with being a teenager.
This film, written by Amy Heckerling, starring Alicia Silverstone, and based on the Jane Austin novel, Emma, holds a special place in all of our hearts. And what better way to celebrate than with these totally classic quotes.
Don’t forget to also check out these Spaceballs quotes from the ridiculous comedy.
Totally classic Clueless quotes
1. “Ugh, as if!” – Cher
2. “I was just totally clueless.” — Cher
3. “I totally paused.” — Cher
4. “May I please remind you that it does not say ‘RSVP’ on the Statue of Liberty.” – Cher
5. “You’re a virgin who can’t drive.” – Tai
6. “Rollin’ with the homies.” – Tai
7. “No, she’s a full-on Monet. It’s like a painting, see? From far away, it’s OK, but up close, it’s a big old mess” – Cher
8. “Dude, what’s wrong. You suffering from buyers remorse or something?” – Dionne
9. “Dionne and I were both named after great singers of the past who now do infomercials.” – Cher
10. “I’m audi.” – Cher
Best Clueless quotes from Cher
11. “Suddenly a dark cloud settled over first period… I got a C in debate?” — Cher
12. “Oh my god, I am totally buggin’.” – Cher
13. “Until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there’s no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value.” — Cher
14. “Do you prefer fashion victim or ensembly challenged?” – Cher
15. “She’s my friend because we both know what it’s like to have people be jealous of us.” – Cher
16. “You see how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet.” — Cher
17. “I feel like such a bonehead.” – Cher
18. “I was surfing the crimson wave. I had to haul ass to the ladies.” – Cher
19. “Sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds boys of being naked, and then they think of sex. And anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good.” — Cher
20. “You are a snob and a half.” – Cher
Other Clueless quotes from Cher
21. “I’m not a prude, I’m just highly selective.” – Cher
22. “Isn’t my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972.” — Cher
23.“I am totally butt crazy in love with Josh.” – Cher
24. “Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.”— Cher
25. “Everything I think and everything I do is wrong.” – Cher
26. “So okay, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we’re expected to swoon? I don’t think so.” — Cher
27. “Christian said he’d call the next day, but in boy time that meant Thursday.” — Cher
28. “I feel like such a heifer. I had two bowls of Special K, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, 5 peanut butter M&M’s and like 3 pieces of licorice.” — Cher
29. “Old people can be so sweet.” – Cher
30. “Okay, so you’re probably going, ‘Is this like a Noxzema commercial or what?’ But seriously, I actually have a way normal life for a teenage girl.” — Cher
31. “It’s like that book I read in the 9th grade that said, ‘Tis a far, far better thing doing stuff for other people.’” — Cher
32. “I don’t get it. Did my hair get flat? Did I stumble into some bad lighting? What’s wrong with me?” – Cher
33. “Wasn’t my mom a total Betty? She died when I was young. A freak accident during a routine liposuction.” — Cher
34. “Loadies generally hang on the grassy knoll over there.” – Cher
35. “That’s Ren and Stimpy. They’re way existential.” — Cher
36. “I had an overwhelming sense of ickiness.” – Cher
37. “Let’s do a makeover!” – Cher
38. “He does dress better than I do. What would I bring to the relationship?” – Cher
39. “This is California, not Kentucky?” — Cher
40. “Miss Stoeger, I would just like to say that physical education in this school is a disgrace. I mean, standing in line for forty minutes is hardly aerobically effective. I doubt I’ve worked off the calories in a stick of Carefree gum.” — Cher
Best Clueless quotes from Dionne and Tai
41. “Besides, the PC term is ‘hymenally challenged.’” – Dionne
42. “Cher’s saving herself for Luke Perry.” — Dionne
43. “If I’m too good for him, then how come I’m not with him?” – Tai
44. “Cher, I don’t want to do this anymore. And my buns, they don’t feel nothin’ like steel.” — Tai
More great Clueless quotes
45. “She could be a farmer in those clothes.” – Amber
46. “Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody would miss you.” — Mel
47. “He’s a disco-dancing, Oscar Wilde-reading, Streisand ticket-holding friend of Dorothy, know what I’m saying?” — Murray
48. “I would like to say this. Tardiness is not something you can do on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. I would like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the LA city bus driver who took a chance on an unknown kid, and last but not least, the wonderful crew from McDonald’s who spend hours making those egg McMuffins without which I might never be tardy.” — Travis
49. “You been jeepin’ around behind my back?” – Murray
50. “My plastic surgeon doesn’t want me doing any activity where balls are flying at my nose.” – Amber
What do you think is the most quotable line from Clueless?
It’s a common Hollywood strategy to take an old story and put some sort of modern twist on it. For some films, this strategy works really well. Just take a look at modern classics like 10 Things I Hate About You (based on Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew) and Bridget Jones’ Diary (based on Jane Austin’s Pride and Prejudice). And, for others, not so much. Looking at you, She’s The Man (based on Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night).
Clueless is one of those films that sits at the top of that success pile. Heckerling put a refreshingly original twist on a classic story and made it her own. Charming, witty, inspirational, and heartwarming, Clueless has everything iconic films are made of.
Did you enjoy these Clueless quotes and lines? Which quote was your favorite? Let us know in the comments below.