80 Ronald Reagan Quotes on Leadership & Freedom (2021)


If you believe you can do something, nothing will stop you with these Ronald Reagan quotes in your mind. Read our quotes by Ronald Reagan on leadership, freedom and success to command your motivation!

Born Ronald Wilson Reagan on February 6, 1911 to John Edward “Jack” Reagan and Nellie Wilson Reagan in Tampico, Illinois, Reagan went on to become an actor, a U.S. Governor, and the President.

Rold Reagan started his career as an actor and in 1937 signed to Warner Brothers, and over the next thirty years, he would appear in over 50 different films.

His most notable appearances were in the 1940 biopic Knute Rockne, All American and the 1942 film Kings Row.Also in 1940, Reagan married fellow star, actress Jane Wyman, but they divorced in 1948.

Reagan served as the president of the Screen Actors Guild from 1947 to 1952, and it was then that he met Nancy Davis, an actor he would marry in 1952.

In 1952, Reagan hosted The General Electric Theater, and this is where his political views shifted from liberal to conservative.

In 1964, he gave a televised speech for Barry Goldwater, and two years later, he won California governorship in a landslide, and he was reelected in 1970.

In both 1968 and 1976, Reagan attempted to make bids for the Republican presidential nomination, but he didn’t receive the nod until 1980, in which election he defeated Jimmy Carter.

He was the oldest president elected, at the age of 69. An assassination attempt occurred on March 30, 1981, where the President was hit, but he survived.

A major history-making moment of Reagan’s presidency was when, in 1981, he appointed Judge Sandra Day O’Connor as the first woman to serve on the Supreme Court.

Reagan was reelected in a landslide, and the days after his time in the White House were mostly spent dealing with Alzheimer’s disease for almost a decade before his death on June 5, 2004.

Don’t forget to also read these wise presidential quotes and sayings from past presidents.

Inspirational Ronald Reagan Quotes

1. Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same. – Ronald Reagan

2. Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means. – Ronald Reagan

3. We can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone. – Ronald Reagan

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4. We must reject the idea that every time a law’s broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions. – Ronald Reagan

5. When you can’t make them see the light, make them feel the heat. – Ronald Reagan

6. Above all, we must realize that no arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women. It is a weapon our adversaries in today’s world do not have. – Ronald Reagan

Also check out these John McCain quotes about character, America and more.

Ronald Reagan Quotes on Leadership

7. All great change in America begins at the dinner table. – Ronald Reagan

8. Coercion, after all, merely captures man. Freedom captivates him. – Ronald Reagan

9. Don’t be afraid to see what you see. – Ronald Reagan

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10. Entrepreneurs and their small enterprises are responsible for almost all the economic growth in the United States. – Ronald Reagan

11. Government exists to protect us from each other. Where government has gone beyond its limits is in deciding to protect us from ourselves. – Ronald Reagan

12. If we ever forget that we’re one nation under God, then we will be one nation gone under. – Ronald Reagan

13. The struggle now going on for the world will never be decided by bombs or rockets, by armies or military might. The real crisis we face today is a spiritual one; at root, it is a test of moral will and faith. – Ronald Reagan

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14. I used to say that politics was the second-oldest profession. I have come to know that it bears a gross similarity to the first. – Ronald Reagan

15. Freedom is the right to question and change the established way of doing things. – Ronald Reagan

16. One of the traditional methods of imposing statism or socialism on a people has been by way of medicine. It’s very easy to disguise a medical program as a humanitarian project. – Ronald Reagan

17. Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other. – Ronald Reagan

Ronald Reagan Quotes on Freedom

18. Welfare’s purpose should be to eliminate, as far as possible, the need for its own existence. – Ronald Reagan

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19. You and I have a rendezvous with destiny. We’ll preserve for our children this, the last best hope of man on earth, or we’ll sentence them to take the last step into a thousand years of darkness – Ronald Reagan

20. Surround yourself with the best people you can find, delegate authority, and don’t interfere as long as the policy you’ve decided upon is being carried out. – Ronald Reagan

21. The best minds are not in government. If any were, business would steal them away. – Ronald Reagan

22. There are no great limits to growth because there are no limits of human intelligence, imagination, and wonder. – Ronald Reagan

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23. My philosophy of life is that if we make up our mind what we are going to make of our lives, then work hard toward that goal, we never lose. Somehow we win out. – Ronald Reagan

24. Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. – Ronald Reagan

Ronald Reagan quotes to elevate your mind

25. Thomas Jefferson once said, ‘We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.’ And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying. – Ronald Reagan

26. There is absolutely no circumstance whatever under which I would accept that spot. – Ronald Reagan

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27. One way to make sure crime doesn’t pay would be to let the government run it. – Ronald Reagan

28. I hope we have once again reminded people that man is not free unless government is limited. There’s a clear cause and effect here that is as neat and predictable as a law of physics: as government expands, liberty contracts. – Ronald Reagan

29. The ultimate determinate in the struggle now going on for the world will not be bombs and rockets but a test of wills and ideas – a trial of spiritual resolve; the values we hold, the beliefs we cherish and the ideas to which we are dedicated. – Ronald Reagan

30. If we lose freedom here, there is no place to escape to. This is the last stand on Earth. – Ronald Reagan

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31. I know in my heart that man is good. That what is right will always eventually triumph. And there’s purpose and worth to each and every life. – Ronald Reagan

32. There are no easy answers’ but there are simple answers. We must have the courage to do what we know is morally right. – Ronald Reagan

Ronald Reagan quotes to inspire and teach

33. Without God, democracy will not and cannot long endure. – Ronald Reagan

34. Protecting the rights of even the least individual among us is basically the only excuse the government has for even existing. – Ronald Reagan

35. Some people wonder all their lives if they’ve made a difference. The Marines don’t have that problem. – Ronald Reagan

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36. Man is not free unless government is limited. – Ronald Reagan

37. Life is one grand, sweet song, so start the music. – Ronald Reagan

38. The greatest leader is not necessarily the one who does the greatest things. He is the one that gets the people to do the greatest things. – Ronald Reagan

39. Heroes may not be braver than anyone else. They’re just braver five minutes longer. – Ronald Reagan

40. If we ever forget that we are One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under. – Ronald Reagan

41. The future doesn’t belong to the faint-hearted; it belongs to the brave. – Ronald Reagan

42. In raising and instructing our children, in providing personal and compassionate care for the elderly, in maintaining the spiritual strength of religious commitment among our people– in these and other ways, America’s families make immeasurable contributions to America’s well-being. Today, more than ever, it is essential that these contributions not be taken for granted and that each of us remember that the strength of our families is vital to the strength of our nation. – Ronald Reagan

43. Information is the oxygen of the modern age. It seeps through the walls topped by barbed wire, it wafts across the electrified borders. – Ronald Reagan

44. To grasp and hold a vision, that is the very essence of successful leadership – not only on the movie set where I learned it, but everywhere. – Ronald Reagan

45. I believe the best social program is a job – Ronald Reagan

Ronald Reagan quotes on Life

46. Trust, but verify. – Ronald Reagan

47. We will always remember. We will always be proud.We will always be prepared, so we will always be free. – Ronald Reagan

48. We the people tell the government what to do. It doesn’t tell us. – Ronald Reagan

49. Don’t try to make your dreams a reality, they’re only filled with things that don’t make sense and trolls. Things are better in reality. – Ronald Reagan

50. Concentrated power has always been the enemy of liberty. – Ronald Reagan

51. “There is no limit to the amount of good you can do if you don’t care who gets the credit.” ― Ronald Reagan

52. “I know in my heart that man is good, that what is right will always eventually triumph, and there is purpose and worth to each and every life.” ― Ronald Reagan

53. “Never let the things you can’t do stop you from doing what you can.” ― Ronald Reagan

54. “A people free to choose will always choose peace.” ― Ronald Reagan

55. “I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.” ― Ronald Reagan

56. “We will always remember. We will always be proud. We will always be prepared, so we will always be free.”
Ronald Reagan

57. “I have spent most of my life as a Democrat. I recently have seen fit to follow another course. I believe that the issues confronting us cross party lines.” ― Ronald Reagan

58. “They say we offer simple answers to complex problems. Well, perhaps there is a simple answer — not an easy answer — but simple.” ― Ronald Reagan

59. “Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.” ― Ronald Reagan

60. “Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with conflict by peaceful means.”  ― Ronald Reagan

Other Ronald Reagan quotes to inspire you

61. “Evil is powerless if the good are unafraid.” – Ronald Reagan

62. “If not us, who? And if not now, when?” – Ronald Reagan

63. “We must be cautious in claiming God is on our side. I think the real question we must answer is, are we on His side?” – Ronald Reagan

64. “The person who agrees with you 80 percent of the time is a friend and an ally – not a 20 percent traitor.” – Ronald Reagan

65. “I believe now, as I alway have, that America’s strength is in ‘We the People.’” – Ronald Reagan

66. “There are no constraints on the human mind, no walls around the human spirit, no barriers to our progress except those we ourselves erect.” – Ronald Reagan

67. “Government’s first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives.” – Ronald Reagan

68. “We are never defeated unless we give up on God.” – Ronald Reagan

69. “Within the covers of the Bible are the answers for all the problems men face.” – Ronald Reagan

70. “Many a man has failed because he had his wishbone where his backbone should have been.” – Ronald Reagan

You might also like these Harry Truman quotes from the unpopular president.

More Ronald Reagan Quotes

71. “I’ve noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born.” – Ronald Reagan

72. “A nation that cannot control its borders is not a nation.” – Ronald Reagan

73. “The most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the government and I’m here to help.” – Ronald Reagan

74. “I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I’m in a cabinet meeting.” – Ronald Reagan

75. “Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, leave the rest to God.” – Ronald Reagan

76. “You can tell a lot about a fellow’s character by his way of eating jellybeans.” – Ronald Reagan

77. “The future doesn’t belong to the fainthearted; it belongs to the brave.” – Ronald Reagan

78. “Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.” – Ronald Reagan

79. “It isn’t so much that liberals are ignorant. It’s just that they know so many things that aren’t so.” – Ronald Reagan

80. “Freedom prospers when religion is vibrant and the rule of law under God is acknowledged.” – Ronald Reagan

Which Ronald Reagan quotes are your favorite?

Tell us in the comment section below.



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How I Stopped Dismissing Praise and Started Believing Compliments


“I’ve met people who are embattled and dismissive, but when you get to know them, you find that they’re vulnerable—that hauteur or standoffishness is because they’re pedaling furiously underneath.” ~Matthew Macfadyen

It was impossible to miss the dismissive hand gesture and distasteful look on her face in response to my comment.

“You ooze empathy,” I had said in all sincerity to my therapist.

“And what’s it like if I blow off or disregard that compliment?” she countered. Then, as usual, she waited.

“Ah, it feels terrible,” I sputtered as the lights of insight began to flicker. I was acutely aware of an unpleasant feeling spreading throughout my chest and stomach. I sensed I had just deeply hurt someone’s feelings.

That experience hung in the air for several moments, providing plenty of time to push the boundaries of awareness.

Was I really so unaware and quick to disregard compliments? Was that the terrible feeling others experienced when I didn’t acknowledge or subconsciously snubbed what they offered in the way of a compliment or kind word? Was that what it felt like to be on the receiving end of dismissiveness?

Leaving that session, I began the usual reflection of mulling over all that had transpired and the feedback I’d received. Growing up with minimal encouragement, I was beginning to see it was taking an enormous amount of time for me to recognize that compliments from others were genuine. I tended to be skeptical and often did not actually hear them.

I hadn’t realized compliments could be accepted at face value and didn’t always come laden with hidden agendas and ulterior motives. I hadn’t thought that compliments were given as a result of merely wanting to offer appreciation. Something great was noticed—something great was acknowledged. Period.

So where did such a suspicious nature come from?

As a kid, I didn’t readily trust the motive behind a well-spoken piece of praise, as it often was a double-edged sword for me. I’d receive a compliment from my mom, but it quickly turned into a way for her to talk about how wonderful she was and how the great parts of her trumped mine by leaps and bounds.

I recall an experience when I was feeling great about interacting with student leaders. I started to share my feeling of pride with my mom and got out a few sentences before she interrupted.  The topic changed to the ways she worked with her students and influenced them. The message I had internalized: sharing doesn’t mean you will receive validation or compliments for what you share.

After excelling academically, my dad dismissed my master’s degree as “Mickey Mouse garbage.” He rarely acknowledged positive experiences with more than a, “Hmmmmm” or “Oh.” The message I had internalized: sharing doesn’t mean there’s and understanding or appreciation for what you share.

Without a lot of experiences that offered encouragement, acceptance, or recognition, I lacked a backdrop on which to deal with compliments. My strengths and talents were unacknowledged, and I hadn’t learn to appreciate them. I tended to mistrust sincerity and downplayed positive input.

With the assistance of an attuned therapist, I started on a journey of learning to trust what was offered to me rather than dismissing it. With a delicate offering of insight, I was able to repair my automatic deflect button and understand others were genuinely recognizing and affirming my strengths when they offered compliments.

Here are several ways that helped me repair dismissiveness after I became much more aware of my tendency to deflect positivity.

1. Pay attention to the positive.

I started to observe anything good around me, challenging myself to see and focus on what was positive instead of indulging our natural negativity bias (the tendency to focus more on the negative, even when the good outweighs the bad).

I looked for examples of encouraging feedback and genuine compliments that came my way or that were given to others. I kept a gratitude journal, reminding myself of what I appreciated each day. I was training and rewiring my brain to truly see and focus on positivity.

2. Recognize when my old conditioning is resurfacing and how this may affect someone offering a compliment.

I consciously challenged myself to believe other people had only good intentions instead of projecting feelings from my childhood experiences with my parents. I challenged any inner suspicious dialogue that came along. And I remembered how good it would make others feel if I allowed myself to feel good when they praised me instead of dismissing what they’d said.

3. Receive and acknowledge compliments.

I practiced listening more carefully when I received compliments and risked absorbing and feeling delighted by them, allowing warmth, pride, and happiness to settle internally. I watched for them and I became less inclined to snub what I heard.  I practiced offering an appreciative and gracious “Thank you” instead of allowing my mind to doubt, dispute, deflect, or dismiss the positive feedback.

A wonderful by-product of working against dismissiveness is that I am more naturally positive and appreciative of others. I spontaneously offer more heartfelt and earnest appreciation, thanks, and compliments to others. I actively look for ways to do that in my everyday interactions and work to express empathy.

Just recently, having watched a mom interact positively with her young boys in the local park, I risked offering a compliment. “Excuse me. I just wanted to let you know I noticed how wonderfully you interacted with your sons and how happy they seem.”

The woman was delighted to receive the feedback said how pleasant it was that someone noticed. She then turned to her boys and shared with them what had happened. All four of us felt encouraged!

I am grateful that I am now much more able to hear, believe, and absorb positive feedback. I make a deliberate effort to relish positivity, and I feel a lot more appreciative of myself and life as a result.





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7 Core Qualities of Resilient People


It stuns people when I tell them I was a custodial kidnapping victim and then left with my grandparents after that custodial battle, only to be later reunited with my mother in witness protection. I have recounted what that reunion was like in several stories, and people have questioned if I am telling the truth.

It seems like they cannot fathom that this ever happened to someone, or that I can write about it so cogently. Things like this, and so much worse, happen every day to people. What is it about some people that helps them get through troubling times? The answer is resiliency. There are seven core qualities that resilient people share.

These characteristics include their ability to set goals and be self-aware. They also understand boundaries and have an internal locus of control. These things help them in their quest to find acceptance while remaining hopeful, optimistic, and positive. They also make sure a healthy tribe surrounds them; a tribe that encourages their growth and goals.

1. They set SMART goals

Part of having a resilient spirit means that you can maintain hope. Having a goal and working towards the outcome you desire is a critical component of resilience. S.M.A.R.T. goals are some of the best types of goals you can set because they help people set clear and attainable goals. They are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely.

Taking care to structure your goals this way will keep you working on the right track. By meeting the smaller, measurable goals, you can celebrate milestone achievements along the way. These minor victories help resilient people keep going, even when the process seems daunting. That builds confidence in their abilities and encourages them to be self-aware. Self-awareness is an important part of goal setting, and the ability to remain resilient.

2. They focus on self-awareness

Resilient people possess self-awareness of their strengths and limitations. They are also empathetic to the plights of others. Psychologist and author Daniel Coleman explains that self-awareness is “a demonstration of one’s ability to accurately recognize one’s own emotions, thoughts, and values along with the ability to understand how they impact their own behavior.”

Using mindfulness and other tools resilient people learn to find their triggers, choose their reactions, and develop their belief systems. They can then use this knowledge to determine how they will behave, including what boundaries they set.

3. The ability to set and understand boundaries

Boundaries are a skill that resilient people work every day to master. Setting boundaries is something that doesn’t happen quickly and can be a challenging process. Boundaries are important in our lives because they help us preserve our finite resources. There is only so much time in our day, and boundaries give us the ability to decide what we allow into our lives.

Resilient people recognize that having boundaries enables them to control how they are treated by others, and how they treat themselves. People who struggle to be resilient in the face of trauma often have trouble setting boundaries. Marquita Herald lays out the signs that you have unhealthy (or no boundaries):

  • Say yes, even when you really want to say no.
  • Never take the time to become clear about your values or priorities.
  • Do things you don’t want to or that feel wrong just to keep the peace.
  • Have no clear boundaries for inappropriate physical contact.
  • Need the validation of others when making choices about your life.
  • Frequently experience feelings of overwhelm from too many commitments.
  • Expect those closest to you to know when they’ve upset you without you saying anything.

Boundaries are about preserving your mental health and safeguarding your sanity. It is essential that we have boundaries that leave us time for self-care, and that we minimize the time we spend with people who cause us angst. Without them you end up overextending yourself, accepting things you should not, and wielding your power to external locusts of control.

4. The ability to find an internal locus of control

Locus of control, a concept developed by Julian B. Rotter in 1954, refers to the degree to which people believe that they have control over the outcome of events in their lives, as opposed to external forces (beyond their influence). There are two types of locusts of control: internal and external.

Resilient people have a higher internal locus of control. Individuals with an internal locus of control believe their behaviors are guided by their personal decisions and efforts, and they have control over those things they can change. Having an internal locus of control is linked to self-efficacy, the belief you have about being able to do something successfully (Donatelle, 2011).

When I was a young girl, struggling with being abandoned by both parents because of drugs and illegal activities, I made a promise to myself. I vowed to not end up like statistics showed I would. At 12, I didn’t understand that this was an internal locus of control. A few years later, when I was a freshman in high school, my mother entered witness protection. I had a few months where I struggled. Life had been cruel and unfair, and I was angry about why these terrible things kept happening to me.

Did God hate me? Was it my fate or destiny to have the people who I loved leave? I felt like the universe’s personal punching bag, but I eventually reminded myself that I had a plan. I was going to take college classes at night, graduate early, and ensure my life was different. Bad things will happen to us that are no one’s fault, but how resilient people respond is based on what efforts they can take to change their situation.

5. They focus on practicing acceptance

Being a victim of trauma does not mean you have to have a victim mentality. We live in a world where people perpetrate traumas on other people. We are not at fault for those things and should not shoulder things like blame and judgment. Resilient people take that energy and focus it on finding acceptance. According to Foundations Recovery Network, these four steps can help you move toward acceptance:

  • Accepting and finding comfort in their actions during the crisis
  • Creating a coping strategy to get through the event and its after-effects
  • Finding social support from friends, family, or a support group
  • Realizing that they acted in a crisis situation despite being afraid

Will acceptance help you heal from trauma? Is healing a real possibility? People who show resiliency can work through the stages of recovery. Brains list these stages as:

  • Stage One: Safety, Stabilization, and Overcoming Dysregulation
  • Stage Two: Remembrance, Mourning, and Coming to Terms with Traumatic Memories
  • Stage Three: Reconnection and Integration
  • Stage Four: Posttraumatic Growth (PTG)

Stage four comprises people who have made their way to the other side of their trauma. This stage is where you realize that the things you have lived through have in fact made you who you are today. Without what you have gone through, you wouldn’t be able to inspire and motivate others who are struggling right now. This is the step where acceptance, changes of thinking, and positive psychological changes within one individual, can give a voice to people who need one.

6. They cultivate optimism, hope, and positivity

Resilient people become beacons of optimism, hope, and positivity by modeling that behavior. Despite whatever traumatic thing they experienced, they hope things will be better. They often know that others have experienced worse things, and while that doesn’t negate their trauma, it keeps them searching for the positives in even the worse situations.

Chakell Wardleigh offers several tips that resilient people do in order to maintain this sense of positivity. She says that replacing the word “to” with the word “for,” will go a long way in changing the way you think. Ask yourself, “Why did this happen for me,” instead of “Why did this happen to me.”

Another way to create positive thoughts is to keep a gratitude journal. Another important way to achieve these positive vibes is to surround yourself with people that you love and care about. The type of people you surround yourself with matters.

7. They build healthy tribes

A critical aspect of humanity is the need we have for connection. Resilient people are strong, but they don’t survive traumatic things on their own. The people that they surround themselves with encourage their energy, vision, and successes.

Resilient people know this matters and limit the time that they spend with those who hinder their goals and positive mindset. It can be draining when we surround ourselves with people who do not encourage us to grow and can hold us back.

Don’t let the traumas of your past hold you back from reaching your potential in this life. A therapist, or life coach, can help you develop these characteristics so you can be more resilient and carry on in times of strife.

We have each walked through a unique personal hell in order to get where we are today, and it is no small feat. You never know who needs to hear your story, or what other things you still have to contribute. So keep putting one foot in front of the other, one word on the page after the next, and give it everything you have.

“It’s your reaction to adversity, not adversity itself that determines how your life’s story will develop.” ― Dieter F. Uchtdorf



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The Signs of a Strong Friendship (and an Unhealthy One)


“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” ~Oprah Winfrey

“How on earth am I supposed to survive? I have no friends whatsoever!”

These were the thoughts that ran through my mind then when I first set foot in London five years ago. I felt raw and vulnerable in the beautiful new city that I had to make my new home, alone, with my two kids, while my husband was overseas. I wondered how I was supposed to do it all.

Well, I had J, a friend I’d met on my honeymoon in Bali, but we had only kept in touch occasionally, so I didn’t expect much from her. I couldn’t really call her my friend, maybe a pleasant acquaintance, but surprisingly she turned out to be my much-needed rock-solid support system and guardian angel.

Every Saturday after work, she came over to my place and we hung out. Sometimes we would take a walk to the park. Other times she would encourage me to drive (something I resisted). She visited my daughter when she fell and was in a cast and made my four-year-old daughter’s birthday memorable. She even helped me put up my garden table and chair. To say that I was grateful for her kindness would be an understatement.

I was grateful—one, because the help and friendship she offered was unexpected. Secondly, because she did it with a great and open heart. And lastly, because she accepted me for who I was and what I could offer at that point.

For the first time in my life, I was a ‘receiver’ in a friendship. Till then, I was always the giver.

But with J, things were different. Her generosity touched me so much, so I thanked her often and told her how much I truly appreciated the trouble she took. But she always shrugged it off. One day as I was thanking her for the millionth time, she said, “Lana, the friendship goes both ways. I too appreciate hanging out with you and your little kids. They add a lot of joy to my life also!”

She then proceeded to tell me that she lost two of her friends to cancer in the last few years, and the sudden losses left her feeling devastated. She said spending time with us helped her through that. I was shocked to hear it but was also pleased to know that my kids and I could fill that void for her in our imperfect selves.

Her honesty and generosity taught me some essential lessons on friendship and helped me differentiate between a healthy and unhealthy one. So, let’s unpack them.

The Tell-Tale Signs of Healthy Friendship

1. There is an equal amount of give and take in the relationship. Both people’s needs are considered essential, and the friendship doesn’t feel lopsided.

2. You’re both honest and transparent with each other. When J honestly opened up to me, it cemented our friendship because it made me feel equally important. Till then, I thought I was the vulnerable person in need of her, and I was surprised to know that she needed me as well.

3. You’re both kind and compassionate, and you completely accept each other. Whenever J arrived, she was always considerate of how overwhelmed I was. She was happy to have an overwhelmed, scared, and disorientated friend and accepted me for who I was.

4. Good friends don’t try to control, dictate, or tell you how to live your life. Though I was new to many things, she didn’t try to control me. She offered suggestions and sometimes pushed me out of my comfort zone, but never crossed any boundaries. She gave me the space I needed.

5. Good friends are generous—with their time, resources, or whatever they have to give. J was generous with her time and company and took me to various places. I was happy to have another adult with me as I visited new locations with my girls.

6. Good friends appreciate each other and don’t try to take advantage of each other’s vulnerabilities.

7. Good friends don’t try to manipulate the other for personal gain. They may help each other, but they don’t use each other. They spend time together because they care for each other and enjoy each other’s company, not because they want something from each other.

Whenever there is an equal amount of give or take in a relationship, honesty, respect, and empathy for one another, you can be sure it is a keeper.

Through J, I learned that friendship is a two-way street. Before that, I had no standards and welcomed anyone and everyone in my life as friends. Even the ones who walked all over me and took advantage. J upped the bar for me.

So, what are the signs of an unhealthy friendship?

1. It feels one-sided. The other person dominates the friendship and prioritizes their needs and wants over yours.

2. They’re insensitive to your needs—they don’t consider them essential or they trivialize them as unnecessary, either by joking or making your needs sound insignificant.

3. They subtly undermine you, implying that you aren’t good enough, can’t do what you want to do, or shouldn’t bother pursuing your wants, needs, and interests.

4. They see you as a means to an end, meaning you are useful for some specific purpose. Maybe you can help them move forward with their career, or you’re a bridge to connecting with someone else.

5. They do not respect you—they ignore, our boundaries, talk to you in a condescending tone, and/or treat you like you’re not a priority.

6. They don’t respect or appreciate your time or effort.

7. They’re demanding and think everything rotates around them.

8. They have numerous issues that they can never sort out on their own. They never ask about you; you’re only there to listen to their problems and service their needs.

9. They’re always competing with you, and everything is a game where they want to be the winner.

10. They don’t want to know about you—your past, your feelings, or your interests.

11. They repeatedly bail on you unexpectedly, as if they don’t value your time together.

Walter Winchell says that “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” Here’s hoping you find that real friend who understands you, lifts you, and brings out the best in you!





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: Leaping Beyond Barriers to Sustainable Motivation by Sylvia Baffour ::.


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As the New Year begins, do you find yourself feeling a little “flat” at work?

A common challenge that employees face in the workplace is staying motivated and productive amidst common distractions such as, procrastination, co-worker back-stabbing, missed promotions, office gossip. Because motivation is something that comes and goes, it is therefore something you have to work on to experience high levels of it. In this article, you will pick up 5 specific tools that you can employ whenever your drive, focus and workplace enthusiasm begin to fizzle.

Make sure your workspace is uncluttered and supports clear thinking

If you’re having trouble concentrating and focusing, a likely culprit might just be a messy desk or a cluttered office space and it could possibly be draining your energy. Creating a cleaner and clearer workspace will ensure that you minimize or even eliminate the very things that distract you from focusing on important tasks ahead. Schedule an hour this week that you can dedicate solely to getting your workspace in order. As you clear your space you will feel more comfortable in it and that will foster a sense of balance that you need to get focused and re-energized.

Surround yourself with encouraging and energizing folks at work

If you’re feeling less focused and motivated to be at your best at work, this might be a good time to take a look at who you most closely surround yourself with at work. How much time are you spending with energy drainers and folks who are constantly criticizing you and second guessing your work?

Make a list of the top 3 people you interact with most at work and jot down beside each name a few words to describe how you most feel being around them. Although you can’t completely eliminate every negative person from your work interactions, especially if the person is someone you have to answer to on a regular basis; you do however have the ability to choose how much time you spend around an energy drainer. Don’t surround yourself with people who are only interested in chiming in on co-worker bashing sessions either because putting others down, no matter how annoying they might be, can also drain you and keep you in a world of pessimism and negativity. You can probably relate to the refreshing feeling of being around someone positive and encouraging, and being around supportive co-workers will ensure that you enjoy that good feeling more often. Remember that an optimistic person is usually a very motivated person because they are fueled by good vibes and positive thinking.

Commit to reading and tapping into the inspiration of one self-improvement book each month

Imagine the feeling you get after you’ve indulged in an uplifting conversation with a friend or co-worker. How do you feel? Energized? In the very same way, diving into and completing a good self-empowering book once a month can bring you that same feeling and we all know that a lot of great accomplishments occur when we’re feeling uplifted and energized.

Get a supportive accountability partner and share your specific goals with them

One of the best ways to stay focused and energized at work is by knowing that someone else you respect is aware of important projects and tasks you know you need to complete. If you are generally in the habit of taking a lunch break, schedule a lunch break once a week with this person and discuss your progress. Knowing that you will have to answer for your action or inaction will motivate you to get things done. Remember to be as honest as you can with this person so that you genuinely benefit from having an accountability partner. Their constant encouragement will also be fuel to your fire to help you stay productive.

Detail an action plan including realistic target completion dates for tasks/projects you need to work on

It’s often not enough to just have in mind the things you need to accomplish at work. Writing them down and noting target completion dates will be very helpful in keeping you focused and organized. Setting target dates will energize you and increase the likelihood that you won’t procrastinate. As you write out an action plan, be sure to prioritize the most important projects or tasks first. As part of this exercise list your tasks/projects in one column and besides each one, try to identify and write down 1 or 2 possible obstacles that could get in the way of you staying on track with that task. Identifying your obstacles will allow you to readily recognize their presence as a direct distraction away from your goal and this will empower you to move beyond them and stay focused.

 

So you can indeed stay focused amidst common workplace distractions no matter how great they may be. Just keep in mind that it might require a change in some of your workplace habits. Implementing the above 5 tools will ensure that you can enjoy a very focused and fruitful year filled with the successful achievements you deserve.

 


Hi! What is your opinion on this article? Is there anything that you’d like to contribute? Kindly share your input by commenting below. Thank you in advance for sharing.


About the Author: Sylvia Baffour

Sylvia Baffour is one of the most sought-after speakers and trainers in the fields of college planning, professional and self-development and leadership. She is the author of I Dare You to Care a book that provides readers with useful strategies for satisfying and meaningful relationships from an emotional intelligence point of view. She is also the creator of the Leaping Beyond BarriersTM Training System which focuses on helping people and organizations to move out of their own way and in the direction of improving their outlooks, performance, innovation, and results.

 

Click the following link to learn more about: Sylvia Baffour

 

The MOTIVATION ‘Key Takeaways’ for this article:

 

As the year races by, do you find yourself feeling a little “flat” at work?

A common challenge that employees face in the workplace is staying motivated and productive amidst common distractions such as, procrastination, co-worker back-stabbing, missed promotions, office gossip. Because motivation is something that comes and goes, it is something you have to work on to experience high levels of it. In this article, you will pick up 5 specific tools that you can employ whenever your drive, focus and workplace enthusiasm begin to fizzle.

Key Takeaways:

1 – Make sure your workspace is uncluttered and supports clear thinking

2 – Surround yourself with encouraging and energizing folks at work

3 – Commit to reading and tapping into the inspiration of one self-improvement book each month

4 – Get a supportive accountability partner and share your specific goals with them

5 – Detail an action plan including realistic target completion dates for tasks/projects you need to work on

 

 

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2 Ways to Start Living the Life You Want


“The distance is nothing; it is only the first step that is difficult.”
Madame Marie du Deffand

“What is not started today is never finished tomorrow.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.”
Earl Nightingale

Maybe the most common issue people have with personal development and making a positive change is that it stays a daydream. That they get excited and inspired.

But then as those positive emotions fade nothing really happens.

Life continues as usual. Your health, finances or your relationship with yourself stays the same.

It’s very frustrating. I know.

I used to read about personal development in pretty much all important areas of life. But it probably took me months or years to get going with making any of those positive changes.

Why?

It was uncomfortable. Making the changes felt so big that is was easier to just kept dreaming about it as frustration built up within.

So what can you do if you get stuck in daydreams? The best solution I’ve found for starting to make your dreams into reality is to go smaller.

Because grand changes and huge ambitions sound so inspiring and motivating. But they’re also scary.

So the most important step to get started and to keep going, especially when you are new to personal development, is to remove as much pressure and expectations as you can.

That’s at least what has worked and still works best for me. And in this article I’ll share how to do that in two simple ways.

1. Go for just taking a small step.

I have mentioned this many times. With good reason.

It’s one of the most effective ways to reduce the pressure and the expectations you may put on yourself and to start moving out of standing still or procrastination.

Now, taking just one small step and focusing on that is for instance a great way to become productive at school or at work.

But it can be used in just about any area in life. If you want to become:

  • Kinder and improve your relationships then just take one small step by giving someone a genuine compliment.
  • A better listener then have just one conversation today where you focus as much effort as you can on learning more about the person in front of you. And truly be there as best as you can and nowhere else in your mind.
  • Someone with a less cluttered home then start by taking 5 minutes to unclutter one shelf in your bookcase or a drawer in your desk.

If you like, then tomorrow you can take the same small action and just focus on that.

If you want to take a first step and get started with something then do it today. Someday so easily becomes never or at least a day several months or years into the future. Don’t make that mistake.

And if the first small step you come up with still seems too big to take then think of an even smaller step. Be kind to yourself in this way and make the start as easy on yourself as you can.

2. Go for just taking care of today.

When you feel overwhelmed, tired and just want to quit or relapse into your old and more negative habits then sit down for a minute.

Breathe.

Then narrow your focus greatly. Don’t look forward because then you’ll see all the things you have to do to reach your goal or to create a new habit.

Instead, go smaller and focus on just taking care of today.

Nothing more. Tomorrow will come in time. And then you will take care of that today too.

I highly recommend keeping this narrow focus a daily thing.

Sure, you may have to do some planning. Do that early in the week or day. Then shrink your focus again to make your work and life lighter and more effortless.

Focus on just the small steps and on today and soon you will have traveled quite a distance.

 



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